Don't hate me.
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***
Hurt.
A never ending hurt.
Life lets you experience things. Things that will shape who you would be as you grow older and face the enormous world.
As we move in every phase of our life, it is expected that consequences, challenges and problems comes with it. It is our choice whether we face it or escape from it. It is our choice whether those things will make us or break us.
But we should also keep in mind that pain or a feeling of hurt would always be inevitable in whatever choice we choose.
I thought I have felt the most painful, heart shattering experience before… Because of his feelings for Liam, Raf and I became so distant that we end up becoming apart from each other. He gave me the deadliest glares which showed how much he hates me. And of course… the time he accused me of stealing Liam when he saw us kissing, which led me confessing my love for him.
And the most painful part was letting him go.
I asked to be free from him so the hurt and scars may heal with time.
And it did.
Not because he let me be freed but because he showed me that he still cares. That’s why I chose to let him in in my life once again. Not thinking that him this close to me, would end up, me being shattered and broken.
I can’t bother to continue what I’m seeing. It only makes me sick and want to puke. I can feel the tightness in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe.
The pain I’ve felt before when I let him go can’t compare to what I’m feeling now. And why is it so painful?
I do know the answer…
It’s because I expected something more will happen between us. It’s because I thought that maybe, there’s also a chance that he has feelings for me. With the way things were happening, I have thought that we were going into a deeper relationship even if not in a couple or lover way.
But I’m wrong. Definitely wrong.
I’ve just imagined it. I’ve just expected and maybe… assumed too much. Now, where it led me?
A broken hearted girl who’s deeply in love with her gay best friend.
As a tear started to fell on my cheek, I turned my head away and tried to walk to get away from the man I love and my feelings for him.
15 hours earlier…
“Let’s just kill that stinking b*tch!” Elina screeched as she fanned her face, pacing around our dorm room
“Calm down El. Revenge is not a good thing you know. Let karma do something to her” I tried soothing her
I’ve told her what went on with Rupert and Liam’s revelation to me last week, not omitting anything. Not to my surprise, Elina was so shock with the news. She literally turned blank for almost fifteen minutes. But after getting out from her dazed and shock state, she started to shoot questions and getting angry and fuming with Christina which we were talking about at the moment.
She huffed as she plopped herself on my bed, “But payback’s a b*tch” She whined, pouting
“Can you stop saying that word” I said, irritated
YOU ARE READING
CERTIFIED GIRL FAG
RomanceI'm Scarlet Rose Brooks, a girl who never intended nor expected to fall inlove with a guy who's beyond my expectations. I've been in love with my best friend for four years now... and counting. But the thing is, my best friend? Well... He's gay. A h...
