*wakes up*
I'll just say sorry for posting late and...
enjoy reading. :D
I'm tired.
That's all.
*sleeps back again*
***
‘Tomorrow is another day’… A quote I claim to live by.
As I reflect with this quote, I was hoping that this day would end so I can have a new day tomorrow and start my life… again.
A new day that would turn my life three hundred and sixty degrees.
But who am I kidding? That’s totally next to impossible.
I wish any normal individual could somehow be like a robot where you can program yourself to save a memory that you want to retain inside your mind and it can stay there until the end of time. Then you can choose to delete an experience. Place it in the trash bin and be able to forget it never happened.
There would be a signal or a warning that stops you from continuing or doing something. It would say like ‘Stop! Danger ahead. May cause severe destruction to your heart’ or like ‘Caution! May explode your brain’
Yeah. I’m totally getting weirder.
Or maybe I can just have one day… just that ONE DAY, where my mind would turn into a complete empty, hollow space. Where I wouldn’t be able to remember everything… from my childhood until present time. Where I have nothing to think of, may it be a joyful thought or a depressing one.
I will be devoid of feeling anything. I will be free from overthinking, free from my frustrations, innocence, stupidity, frantic behavior and a lot more. The bottom line…
I won’t be able to feel any pain.
Pain that turns everything upside down.
Pain that drains every energy from you, making you weak and fragile.
Pain that tells you… you lose.
I always say… pain will be connected in everything we do. That it would be expected ‘coz life is not perfect. Anything can go wrong.
But a lot of us would agree that we wanted to have an almost perfect life. Where we can say we’re contented of the things we have and that we’re happy with the people surrounding us.
A life where you look forward to wake up continuously everyday that even if something may go wrong, you’d be able to face it with head held high and with ease ‘coz you have someone to turn to. Someone who’s always there for you no matter what happens. Someone you can lean on.
I wouldn’t say that after what I saw, I have no someone. I still have my family, people I consider as close friends and some people who leave a mark with the simple things they do.
But what makes it different? Why everything seem wrong? Why is it so hard for me? Why is it so painful?
It all goes down to that one word that most of us are scared of but some would kill to have it.
That bullsh*t four letter word.
Love.
I love him… so much. It’s plain and simple. I’m hurting so much because my feelings for him is so deep. I’m hurting so much because I let that feeling drown me.
Some would think that I’m over reacting or maybe exaggerating but I can’t choose what I feel. This is how I feel and it’s slowly eating me. The image of them in the arms of each another kept on lingering inside me, making the pain more unbearable and yawning.
YOU ARE READING
CERTIFIED GIRL FAG
RomanceI'm Scarlet Rose Brooks, a girl who never intended nor expected to fall inlove with a guy who's beyond my expectations. I've been in love with my best friend for four years now... and counting. But the thing is, my best friend? Well... He's gay. A h...
