Adaptation: My Adventures in Paris

Days 150-158

Everybody knows the saying "the calm before the storm." But, what we didn't know, was that our days of calmness were over. Big time. So many things happened between the second Ellie and Jack's date ended, to the minute we decided to take action and put an end to things. Spending an entire chapter on each of those days and events would be too much to handle, too confusing, too long. So enjoy a few confusing and long chapters instead. Here we go.

Saturday, January 16th

Starting off with the day after the date (that didn't go so well) Anna, Ellie, and I decided to watch a movie. Before I showed up, Anna had confessed to being invited over to Eric Hamilton's place, where a ton of guys were hanging out. She didn't go, probably because it wasn't true. Moments after I arrived and we were in the movie theater bathroom, Anna was complaining non stop about how Logan had snapchatted her and supposedly called her "thirsty." But after a few minutes of her almost fake ranting it was revealed that... it was me he called thirsty. Ouch.

Monday, January 18th

Apparently the whole "thirsty" thing was actually all just a part of Archie's plan to get Anna to join his posse. But this day was about much more than that. During a private tutoring session I was enjoying over the internet, I got a text message that read

"Which one of you bitches did this"

followed by a photo of a screenshotted conversation between Archie and Anna, in which Archie had confronted Anna about a list of names.

Let me explain: for some dumb reason, my friends and I decided to make a Google Document with a list of names of the boys we liked, and a list of their corresponding nicknames. It was very confidential information, because we also wrote who each guy "belonged" to. I was on there with Logan and Eric (since people believed he was into me), Ellie with Jack, Anna with Archie and Samuel, and Alice with Adam and an upperclassman she was secretly crushing on. And somehow, that list of names, the list that could potentially murder our social lives, ended up in the hands of Louis Armani, who then sent it to Archie himself. (To this day, we still don't know if The List actually got spread and by who...) And every single boy on that list had seen it. Screw tutoring when your hands are shaking as you realize the entire school might just know about your little obsession with Logan.

Wednesday, January 20th

The hysteria we were all experiencing about The List had died down only a little, and Anna was not helping. She ditched our friend group to "help" Samuel and Archie with their English project, but then returned and told us she actually made out with both of them. True of false? You decide.

The only good part that happened, that remains hilarious to this very day, is the very interesting conversation I had with Eric. He texted me randomly saying, and I quote:

"WTF DID YOU SAID TO LIAM ??????? TELL ME NOW"

As I tried to figure out what had happened, he sent me a voice message. He angrily yelled at me for telling Liam (Mercure) that he had told me I had a good butt. He then started yelling and claiming he would start speaking in French but finally decided to continue ranting on in English. "Don't mind my accent" he said as he continued screaming into the phone microphone. He paused before ordering me to "stop saying bullsheet." And yes, it actually sounded like he was saying sheet. He paused again before saying "now fuck you," and then "stop talking to my friends parce que" before taking a breather again because the English was too much for him. He accused me of "saying stupid things" to make myself "like interesting." He still went on and hilariously muttered out "shudeh fu shuddaf" before finally exclaiming "shut the fuck up!" and then banning me from talking to him or his friends again. He ended the message with a long pause, after which he said oh-so-dramatically-and-sassy "oh and also it would be good, it would be nice if you uh, if you went back to America. Thank you." I still don't know what that was about and I can't talk to him without laughing.