GhostBoy

Cry For Me

I didnt realize my body was shaking until I fell to the sidewalk onto my knees, feeling the trembling in my fingers and the heart wrenching sobs take over my body.

I could feel the bile in my throat rising and could feel the scars on my arms stinging as if I had freshly cut into them.

My hot tears streamed down my face and onto the ground, creating a puddle only after a few seconds.

My blood on his hands from the marks I made.

The picture is burned into my memory and the words that cut cleaner than razors could across my skin and cut deeper than knives ever could.

"If you want to die so badly, how about you go fucking jump off a water tower already?"

My body was going numb, going cold. I could feel it through my whole shuddering body.

But it wasn't the numbness that was making me cold.

I slowly looked up to see Walker, his arms around my shoulders, resting on my back as tears fell from his own eyes. Tiny white tears that fell to the ground before disappearing into the sidewalk.

He was trembling too, but not as badly as I was.

His mouth was moving and I couldn't hear what he was saying. I could barely even see him as my eyes clouded again with tears.

That's when I began to hear him, whispering so soft like he didn't want anyone to hear him.

"Audrey please...." he'd whisper, his presence so cold I almost began to shiver, "Please don't cry Audrey.... Im here, please don't cry."

Over and over the words repeated again and again as I continued to cry.

I've always cried alone, never having a shoulder to cry on and I always felt that I was alone with no one that understood.

But I could feel him, I could feel him there with me with a presence that was cold as snow, freezing me in my place with his arms around me.

He couldn't touch me yet he could.

He could comfort me without saying anything above a whisper.

He could cry for me despite not knowing why.

I had to get up.

I realized that after ten minutes of crying on the sidewalk. Crying in his arms with him whispering in my ear.

Slowly my limbs began to move on there own. One foot then the other. Slowly standing up as hiccups continued to tear through my chest.

My tears had stopped but the feeling was still there, the images still there.

I couldn't escape from it.

Despite not thinking about it for years.

I looked up at Walker as he stood up with me, so close that I could have touched my nose with his if he leaned forward a little bit.

His eyes were filled with so much sadness I almost broke into tears again.

He slowly brought a hand to his eyes, wiping away the tears before they fell again. Then he reached his hand to my face and rested his hand on my cheek and I let him.

My eyes closed and I could feel his presence soley in his hand, tingling and feeling so cold. Not being there yet being there. Being so real and not being real at all.

Why was Walker such a damn comfort to me now?

Why could I cry in front of him and feel so much better when his presence is around me?

I didn't understand how this ghost boy got so round up around my heart. Why he always seemed to calm me down and how I can trust him more than I trust myself.

His translucent see through eyes bored into me as I stared at them, feeling myself break down in front of them.

So deep I could feel his gaze on mine and I could almost feel how much emotion he was holding inside him.

It was so much and I didn't understand why.

Why was there so much emotion in this boy in front of me?

Why is he letting me see all of it? Everything that he has and ever will have.

He pressed his forehead against mine, stopping before he passed through me. I could feel the freezing pressure and shut my eyes tight once more.

That's when his voice passed through me clear as day, no longer whispering anymore and I had to open my eyes.

"You don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to tell me what's going through your head but I am here and I will listen. I'll listen to every godamn  word."

My breath hitched in my throat and I had to bite my tongue to prevent another sob from taking over my body.

"Audrey, nothing matters anymore for me except you. You're my top priority and I will make sure that you will get happiness and I get to see that beautiful smile each day."

Tears streamed down his face again and this time he didn't bother to wipe them away this time.

He kept looking at me his lip quivering only in the slightest.

He then gave me a smile but it didn't reach his eyes which were still streaming tears, "You're the most beautiful person I have ever gotten the chance to meet. Every part of you makes me want to smile." He then paused, taking a breath as he wiped his cheeks.

"Even if I lost my memories, even if I murdered billions of people and saw many pretty faces. You're the only one that matters to me now, my old life is gone and my new life is here." He grinned softly, his normal lopsided grin, "And I'm sure as hell glad I get to spend this life with you."

In every single romance in every single cliche movie, this is where the guy leans in and kisses the girl, kisses her like there's no tomorrow.

He didn't make a move though.

We remained there, his forehead against mine as we both had tears running down our faces.

I cried for me and he cried with me.