This Could All Be Yours

2

Bob and I got in the car. I sat in the back seat. I heard a knock on the window and rolled it down.

"Yes?"

Jay leaned down. "Are you alright going with just Bob? You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"No, I'll be alright."

"Call me if there's an issue, okay?"

"I will."

"Alright. See you when you get back." He kissed me.

"You too."

Once the car started to move, I rolled up my window.

"So where in town do you want to go?"

"Oh, um - I don't know."

"Downtown it is."

"Downtown...? But without Jay -"

"Well, I am your body guard, Frank. Jay might be able to protect you but not like me or even Ger -" He cut himself off.

"Or even who?"

"Nothing. Doesn't matter."

"Or even Gerard?"

He glanced at me in the review mirror. "And here I thought you forgot about him."

"I'd never forget about him. I fell in love with him that night six years ago the same way I did with Jay two years ago."

"You fell in love with Gerard the same way you fell out of love with him."

"I never fell out of love with him."

"Is that why you're with Jay?"

"I'm with Jay because he loves me! Because Gerard never came back to me! But I never once fell out of love with him!"

We drove in silence the rest of the way.

We finally got into downtown New Jersey. There were people everywhere along the sidewalk.

"I know this nice, little record store. I think you'll enjoy it."

We pulled up to the record store. Bob parked the car and walked in with me. He was right, it was little. But it must've just opened; there was no one here.

Bob and I spent probably two hours there. There were so many records that I wanted and just had to buy.

***

When we got back, Jay was cleaning his gun. That's the thing about everyone who lives here in uptown Jersey, the master of the house always owned a gun.

"Would you put that stupid thing away? You know I can't stand it." I said, walking passed Jay and putting my new records on a shelf.

"I was just cleaning it, pumpkin." He put it back in its case then walked over to me. "It will protect us."

"Guns don't protect people or kill them."

"Here we go again." He sighed.

"It's whoever has the gun. I told you never to take it out of that case. I told you I hated it!"

"Frankie, relax. It won't come out of its case again."

"Promise?"

"I promise, pumpkin."

I feared guns. Not only that - I feared people carrying them or using them. I don't like them, but they are apart of the laws; the right to bare arms. I didn't mind that, I just wish people were smarter with weapons and used them for self defense, not to kill someone because they wronged you.

Jay knows that. He knows how I feel about it. I get paranoid even knowing there is a gun in the house.

"Tell you what, I'm going to take you to dinner. Somewhere nice."

"You mean, somewhere fancy and expensive."

"Same difference, Frank. Now, go get all dolled up for me." He patted my ass as I walked towards the stairs.

***

Dinner wasn't bad. We've been to this restaurant dozens of times and it was always with the same people.

The rich guys.

The ambassadors.

The wealthy businessman who works upstate.

It was all the same.

"So, Frank, what are you going to do when Jay leaves for England?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's always like this in my house: I leave for a few days, weeks, or months, and the wife never knows how to do anything without me." They all laughed.

But I didn't and neither did Jay. He knew the look on my face was never a good sign and placed his hand in mine, shaking his head to tell me not to speak.

But I couldn't resist.

"Unlike your pathetic excuse for a wife, I know how to do things on my own. I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone to look after me. Your wife has never done anything for herself but give her body away to the next sex craved asshole on the corner she works every night."

"Frank, that's enough." Jay lightly squeezed my hand.

Everyone stared at me. I wasn't wrong, I've seen her on the corner several times in the passed seven months. If this was coming as news to them, then they really don't pay much attention.

"I need some air." I said, walking out of the restaurant.

I didn't regret what I said and there was no way in hell I was taking it back. I can live without Jay. I can be on my own and still be perfectly fine.

"What's the matter?" I heard Jay speak.

"He was saying I couldn't live without you."

"He was talking about his wife."

"He was implying it! Did you not hear him?!"

"Frank, you're jumping to conclusions. You don't know where he was going with that. But to call his wife a prostitute -"

"I never called her a prostitute, I implied it."

"You went too far!" He yelled.

"I went as far as he did! I am not going to sit quietly while someone implies a scenario on me!"

"You know how Mr Ericsson is, how he can get."

"I'm just sick of it." I turned away from Jay.

He was quiet for a minute. "Alright, I'll make you a deal. You come back inside with me and have dinner with us. Then, when we get back home," He leaned close so his lips were next to my ear, whispering to me.

My eyes went wide and my breath hitched.

He pulled himself away. "Sound good?"

I nodded eagerly before he pulled me back inside the restaurant.