I am not afraid

17.

There's only a few things you can do when someone refuses to talk to you.

Number one, say their name repeatedly in hopes of frustrating them into speaking. Number two, say something extremely interesting or arousing so they find it impossible to not answer back or number three, try and make them feel bad by either giving them the cold shoulder too or by saying or doing something to express your upset such as an extremely saddened expression or a verbal communication of either swears or- Well, actually just swears.

I know that because Frank has tried all three of those options and I'm still not talking to him.

I don't hate him, I just hate myself.

I just don't feel like talking to anyone, I don't want to be stuck in a hotel room with him anymore or have to go home to a house full of people who hate me or be outside or in any other location.

I don't want to be anywhere. If it were possible, I'd opt out of existence for a little while and come back later.

It's not possible, you either exist or you don't, there no coming back once you've gone.

I haven't moved from my position on the sofa since I fell asleep on it earlier, not since I heard Frank on the phone to Mikey.

I look up briefly to see Frank exit the bathroom, he's strategically placed a towel low around his waist and his charcoal hair is wet, messed up and in his face a little.

I'd be lying if I said it isn't sexy as hell.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye and smirks a little quite obviously seeing me staring. I can't not stare though, he's nothing less than utterly captivatingly beautiful.

"What's wrong Gerard? I told you before, if you're going to ignore me I'll pretend like you aren't here"

Pretend like I'm not here? Talking to me isn't exactly achieving that.

"Frank, what the hell are you talking about?"

He sighs and stretches high above his head his towel dropping a little more "oh. You know. I like to walk around naked when I'm alone"

"But you aren't alone"

He grins a sly grin "I knew I'd get you talking"

I sigh and throw my head forward into my hands. That's my vow of silence broken then.

"This is supposed to be a fun evening baby I wouldn't do anything to upset you on purpose" he adds.

He used the pet name. Now I really hate him.

"You hit a nerve saying what you said Frank" I tell him lowering my eyebrows. Not quite a frown.

"I know" he walks over and sits down on the sofa next to me, he nudges me with his elbow gently "there's other types of nerve I could hit though, you'd like that wouldn't you"

I can't help but blush "Frank stop.."

"You would though. I hit that bundle of nerves just right and you'll feel it. You'll feel so fucking good all the way down here..." He traces his fingers down my stomach, across my crotch which makes my breathing catch and down my thigh.

"Frankie... You need to- oh fuck" I can't even finish my sentence, his hand fully closes around the bulge in my jeans and he starts to rub.

"I need to what baby?" He murmurs close to my ear "keep going?"

"Mhmm.. Fuck you Frank"

That's all I can manage to say, my head is swimming from the sudden intimacy. It only gets worse when he unbuttons my jeans and yanks them down to my ankles before slipping his hand inside my boxers. He leans close to my ear again as he starts to move his hand, it's slow and gentle but it's so overwhelming that I can't even remember my own name.