Bleeding Heart [a Red Queen fanfic]

chapter eleven.

It's evening, around the time I'd usually be heading home, but for some reason, I find myself lingering. The Nolle mansion is strangely empty today, the hallways echoing with silence. The Nolles must be out somewhere, as I haven't seen any of them all day, save for when Brenna and I ran into each other this morning. A pang hits my heart at the realization that I won't be able to see Brenna again today, and the ache takes me aback. For the millionth time, I find myself scolding my wayward heart. She's a noble, she's a lady, she's a Silver. Her king sent my father to war, enslaved my family, and ruined the lives of so many of us, destroyed so much potential and talent, happiness and dreams. Her father himself lords over us, governing our region, overseeing punishments, forcing us to the Feats, where we have to watch them flaunt everything that they have, everything that they are, that we can't ever be.

But she doesn't seem like a monster, and as much as I try to, it's hard to hate her the way I should. She doesn't act anywhere near how I'd expect a girl like her to - throwing tantrums over the most trivial of things, ordering us about, whining to her father. Whenever I've seen her speaking to a Red servant, she talks quietly and almost kindly as she directs them. In some ways, she makes me think of Katelyn, my own sister. Only her fine clothes and the white blush that rises to her cheeks every time she seems to see me, reminds me of who she really is.

Despite it all, I can't deny anymore that she's made her way into my heart, that some part of me wants her, as much as that frightens me, as much as it goes against everything I believe in.

Lost in a consuming swirl of thought, my mind clouded over with strange emotions and thoughts, I look up distractedly, only to see who else but the girl who's become my ghost, haunting my head and my heart, walking right into my path. Something in my chest jumps, jolting with excitement.

Brenna stops when she sees me, and I see her face pale slightly, briefly, in her by-now familiar blush. There's an unusually determined air about her, as if she's off on a mission of some sort, although I can't imagine what that would be. She seems to have been heading for the kitchen, which is strange in itself, as if she wanted any food she'd simply have to tell the cooks and they would get her anything she wanted without her needing to lift a finger.

"My lady," I say, ducking into a half-bow and stepping out of her way.

She looks at me, and the tiniest hint of a smile plays at the corners of her lips. "I told you you didn't have to call me that."

Her voice is light and lilting, almost teasing, and the casual way she speaks to me takes me by surprise. Unable to form words, I can only stare at her as her smile widens slightly, apparently amused by my reaction, and passes by me, her blue-and-yellow gown rustling against the floor as she makes her way into the kitchen.

—

I can feel Zavier's presence still lingering outside the doorway of the kitchen as I make my way in, but I turn my attention to the task at hand, gazing up at the cabinet of wine. Nerves tingle in my stomach - I've always been one for following my parents' rules, and although I may be older now, I'm still fearful of getting caught breaking one.

Oh, for Gods' sake, Brenna. It's wine. It's not like you're committing some huge scandal.

Seized by sudden resolve, I reach forward and undo the latch on the cabinet. The little glass door swings open, and my hand closes around a gleaming glass bottle. As I head back towards the sitting room, the bottle under my arm and several glasses clutched in my hand, a delicious thrill buzzes through me.

Maybe being a bit rebellious every now and then isn't such a bad thing after all.

Zavier is in the sitting room as I walk in, stoking the fire. He looks up as I settle into a seat near a window, setting the wine down on the table, and I think I see an eyebrow raise.

Ignoring him, I focus on pouring myself a glass as carefully as I can, being sure not to spill a drop. I'm almost childishly proud of myself when I succeed, and I feel like toasting someone as I raise my glass to my lips, but alas, there's no one to do so with.

Zavier has been standing against the wall with his arms crossed, watching me. His voice is soft when he speaks, breaking the silence. "I didn't take you for a drinker, my lady."

My heartbeat spikes, suddenly excited. He's never spoken to me much before, aside from the occasional, very brief murmured words when we run into each other in the hallways, before we separate again and go our different ways.

I take another sip before I look up towards him. "I'm not," I answer. It feels strangely comfortable to talk to him, and the words come easily. "But, well, there's not much to do here, so I'm turning to drinks for entertainment."

Zavier chuckles softly and steps closer, bringing a small smile to my face even as my heart begins pounding faster. "Not a bad source of entertainment, although..."

Our eyes meet in an electrifying moment, his a swirl of captivating green and gold-brown that seems to almost glow in the low-lit room.

"Although?" I question softly, hearing the edge of challenge in my own voice.

He seems to hesitate a moment before he answers, as though trying to decide if he should really say whatever he was about to. I raise an eyebrow, silently prompting him to continue.

"Although it seems a shame to drink alone," he finishes, a teasing note curling into his tone. "Almost sad, really."

My skin prickles, a tingle making its way down my body, starting at my head and travelling right down to my toes. I've never played this kind of game before, never even come close. Whenever boys tried to flirt with me at balls and parties, I'd always let Lyra take over the conversation, happy to let her steal the attention with her natural charm. But now is different; now, I don't feel like stepping aside. I may not know exactly how to play this game, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try to.

"Very true," I muse, trying to sound thoughtful. I look down at my glass for a calculated moment, swirling the wine around gently. "It's a shame I haven't got a companion to share my time with." I look back up as I speak, meeting his eyes again. The corners of my lips fight to pull upwards, drawing into the tiniest smile. Somewhere deep inside me, some part of me is screaming in dismay, shocked at my own behaviour. Am I actually flirting - with a Red boy, no less?

But the gleam of Zavier's eyes silences that voice, shoving it aside to think about later. I lean back in my seat, another silent challenge. I've put myself out on a limb - it's his move now.

After a moment of taut silence and glimmering tension, Zavier's lips spread into a grin, and he gestures to the chair beside me. "Do you mind if I have a seat, Lady Nolle?"

Delight sparks in my veins, along with another emotion that I can't exactly place. I reach out to pour another glass. "Not at all."

  —  

it's getting hot in here ;)

also, i actually updated?? within like a week of my last update?? instead of 3 months like before??? what is this sorcery???

i'll try to keep updating regularly for you guys. keep commenting and voting, i love reading all your comments!