complicated | bellarke

two | hard to figure out

CLARKE:

As I walk in silence with Bellamy, I think about what Finn told me, about having a girlfriend. I'm glad he told me, of course, because things could have gone further and it all could have gotten messed up.

I wish I had known he was off-limits earlier, honestly. We've been flirting most of our time on the ground, but more importantly, he's been a rock for me up until this point. It's really hard, trying to keep the group safe and controlled, and he helped me handle it. I supposed I'm going to have to depend on Bellamy for that now. If we're going to be co-leaders, we need to rely on each other.

I glance over at him. I don't trust him fully yet. Sure, he's improved since I first met him, but he's still reckless, rebellious, and hard to figure out.

"We're here," I say as I open the hatch.

"Nice place," he replies as he goes down the ladder. "How'd you find it?"

"Finn did," I tell him, quickly.

"You with Finn?" Bellamy asks casually, as if it was a normal question.

"Nope," I say, lighting a candle. I don't really feel like discussing my personal life, my humiliating personal life, with Bellamy Blake, of all people.

I take a seat at the small table in the corner. "So are we writing an official document? Or are we just making a verbal announcement?" I ask him as he sat next to me.

"I was thinking we could make a few copies and post them around."

"We don't really have paper," I inform him.

He gets up. "There might be some in here." He starts looking around.

Bellamy picks up an old newspaper in the corner and holds it up to show me. As I recognize it, my stomach coils and I instinctively bolt to him. But he unfolds it before I can get there.

His face studies the drawing for a few seconds before he looks up at me. "Did you draw this?" he asks, almost in awe.

I nod, avoiding his gaze. He stares back at the drawing. "It's amazing."

I made it the other day when I was here with Finn. It's a drawing of the forest, in some green colored pencils we found. Finn wanted to take it back to camp, put it in his tent or something, but I folded it and put it back in the corner. My art is personal to me, I don't want everyone seeing it.

"I didn't know you were an artist," Bellamy speaks softly.

"It's not like we sit down and share all of our secrets, Bellamy."

"Why is it a secret?" he asks me. I've never heard him sound so concerned, so real.

"I don't know," I admit.

"Well, you're really talented," he tells me, setting it back down. "I think since there's all these words on here already, it'd be hard to read laws on here. Maybe some scraps of metal? Tree bark?"

I guess I don't reply, because he asks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I snap back to reality.

"We should probably head back, you seem kind of tired. We can come back tomorrow." He sounds so gentle.

"Actually, I think I'm going to crash here tonight," I say, sitting back down at the table. "After everything today, I don't really feel like going back to camp."

"Oh, okay," he responds. He just stands there for a moment. "Do you want me to stay or anything?"

"No, no, it's okay. You should probably go check to see if everything's okay back at camp." I keep nodding, trying to validate my words.

Even though it's Bellamy, it would be nice to have someone's company right now. It's just not a good idea.

"You'll be back tomorrow?" he asks, putting a hand on the ladder behind him.

"I will."

"Okay. Goodnight," he says, looking at me one last time before climbing up the ladder and leaving.

I decide to get another piece of newspaper. I just start drawing, and I find myself drawing Bellamy. I don't know why, something about him just seems different today.

I know I said I was posting three times a week, but I'm posting the first three today then I'm going to start the schedule on Monday. I hope you guys liked this chapter! Please vote if you did.