Soldier Boy

Chapter Twenty-Four

Castiel had hallucinated those arms wrapping around him that night. The growing weight of the loss of Dean was weighing so heavily on Castiel's mind that his sanity was cracking under the weight of it.

Castiel's condition was steadily worsening.

He was starting to see Dean. Hear Dean talk to him, comment on something. At first it had only happened once or twice, few and far between. But it had slowly grown in intensity and frequency.

He wasn't sure if Dean was there or not anymore.

He'd kept calling Dean, his one tether to reality. Dean not answering always reminded Castiel that he was gone. He never mentioned it in the voicemails he left, not wanting to concern or chase away Dean if he actually listened to them. No, he always just wished him well and asked him to call or at least answer.

Unfortunately, that hadn't lasted for long.

As Castiel's hallucinations became more vivid and frequent, his grip on reality loosened. He'd become so lost in this fantasy his mind had created that he forgot that Dean was gone; gradually, the calls lessened. He only called every two days. Then once a week. Every two weeks. Once a month.

He finally reached a stopping point in his downward spiral, now only having moments of clarity near holidays. Cas would only call on holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and even Hanukkah to wish Dean well.

These moments of clarity when he could remember Dean leaving were so few though, and Castiel's family was beginning to get very, very worried. At first, they'd just believed him to be going through a phase of denial. But it was becoming painfully clear that this was no phase.

Some days were worst than others. Like today.

Dean had been gone for five years now. Castiel was currently caught up in a vivid hallucination that he and Dean were married and living together, his family playing minor roles in the movie of their lives.

Castiel was currently trying to feed 'Dean' pie.

"Okay, this can't go on," Lucifer mumbled, all of the siblings spying on their brother from the kitchen.

"We all agree, but what are we supposed to do? I looked at his phone yesterday, and Dean is the only one he calls. For five years, Dean's ignored his calls. I doubt if we just call Dean that he'll answer us," Michael responded with exhaustion, rubbing his eyes.

"Wait, Gabriel, you're dating Dean's little brother. Couldn't you ask him to call? Tell Dean what's going down?" Raphael asked, chiming in on the discussion.

The other four siblings turned to look at Gabriel like Raphael was- expectantly. "I mean, I guess," Gabriel said, biting his bottom lip. He was pretty uncertain about this plan. He was practically ripping his own hair out from worry, but he hadn't dared ask about Dean for four years. He'd pushed too far on that night long ago, and Sam never really forgave him for that. If Dean was brought up, he would shut down.

One glance over at Castiel washed away any worry over his relationship with Sam, replacing it with ten layers of worry for Cas.

Gabe called Sam to see if he was free to hang out today, and when the younger boy said yes, he hurriedly drove to Bobby's house. Sam had moved in after that night, unable for whatever reason to bare being in that house.

Sam was about to go off to college and had begun steadily working at Bobby's auto shop, so they couldn't always spend time together, but Sam tried to make time for Gabe as much as possible. Gabe was getting his degree online, perfectly content to stay home or lounge around Bobby's house with Sam's puppy nuzzled up to him.

Though, now he had two dogs to cuddle with. Sam had taken the Impala- which Dean had left behind- to just drive, upset after having visited Cas a few years back. He hadn't been paying close attention to the road and had hit a dog- an Australian Shepard. After taking it to a veterinarian and discovering the dog just needed time to heal and had no owners, Sam adopted it, too. He'd named the dog Riot, and Riot and Bones had hit it off right away, becoming playmates and nap-buddies.

Sam was waiting outside when Gabe pulled up, Bones by his side with his tail wagging. Bones ran up to the car when it stopped, immediately jumping on Gabriel and licking him once he got out of the car. Gabriel petted him, feeling the soft fur under his fingers. The Golden Retriever lightened his mood slightly, making a smile break across his face.

When Riot heard the light, playful woofs of Bones, he immediately ran for the screen door and nudged it open, running to Gabriel himself and immediately started sniffing and jumping on him, but only coming to the older boy's knees.

"Call your pack off," Gabriel said jokingly, petting the dogs loving as he got down to their level so they could equally cover his face in their slobber.

Sam chuckled and whistled, both dogs' ears perking. They ran over to their owner, Sam beckoning them inside. Gabe followed, sobering up as he remembered why he was here.

Bobby was at the auto-shop, leaving the two boys alone. When Sam had first moved in, Bobby had encouraged Sam to not be alone with Gabe, but had still supplied the proper equipment so that if they just had to, they could at least participate in sex safely.

Sam, of course, had been incredibly awkward and embarrassed during that conversation, Bobby teaching him how to use the condom on a banana, but he'd been grateful even then. He knew Bobby never liked talking about this sort of stuff, and knowing Bobby put the time and effort into teaching him warmed Sam's heart.

He definitely hadn't used them yet, though. Gabriel was waiting until Sam was of legal age, and it was only April. Sam was literally counting down the days until his eighteenth birthday.

Sam turned around to face his boyfriend in the doorway, but seeing Gabriel's grim face erased the smile from Sam's face. Sam's nerves jumped, his fingers already fidgeting nervously. Scenarios ran rampant in his mind, thousands of possibilities nearly driving him mad in an instant.

Was Gabe breaking up with him? Why would Gabe do that? Has Sam done something wrong? Had he made his older boyfriend angry? Had Gabe heard something about Dean? Was Dean okay? Was Cas okay? Could Cas have gotten worse?

Gabe went further into the house, sitting on the couch in the living room. Sam followed, sitting as far from Gabriel as he could on the couch. The dogs jumped up next to them, curling up between the two boyfriends.

Sam nervously waited for him to speak, dreading it.