Something new

Chapter 5

"Hello James."

It was 6pm and I just finished emailing all of the meetings I had thanksgiving weekend. This morning was a blur to me I still can't believe she invited me. I looked up at stella as she was approaching my desk smiling at me with mischievous eyes.

"Yes Ms. Grant?" I said closing my laptop and checking my phone.

"Are you free this evening?"

I stood up smirking. I walked towards my door stopping in front of her.

"Only for something you're not prepared for."

I walked out my office with a laughing Stella following behind me.

"Seriously James listen, Victoria bailed on me to go out to dinner with mark to discuss the trip and Stephen is busy with work."

I loosen my tie trying to ignore my distaste for mark and Victoria spending so much time together.

"Your fiance works to hard."

We stepped into the elevator and Stella sighed.

"He's working on a building plan, he's designing everything."

I looked at her and shook my head. Stephen hasn't taken her out for lunch in months. I can tell it's weighing on her. Perhaps I'll talk to her about it tonight. Me and Stella use to talk all the time before she became engaged.

"Where are you taking me for dinner?"

"I have reservations to mamans cuisine."

I nodded as the elevator stopped. we walked into the parking garage and she followed me to my car.

"Mamans Cuisine." I said to the driver as he opened the door for us.

"Thank you for coming with me James, I really appreciate it."

I slid in next to her and shrugged my shoulders.

"It's no problem, I wanted to see how you are doing anyways."

She rolled down her window a bit and pulled out a spliff from her purse.

"You smoke now?"

She chuckled and sparked it.

"Don't tell Stephen, I wouldn't be his perfect little angel anymore."

I inhaled the smoke and welcomed the small buzz. I watched her eyes get low and her become at ease. She looked content.

"You keep staring at me like that James I might take you up on that offer to do something I'm not prepared for."

I didn't even realize I was staring. Stella was a beautiful girl. Beautiful brown eyes and curly brown hair. Even now with eyes red and low, she was a sight to see. I smirked at her shaking my head.

"What's going on with you Stella?"

She took another hit and threw the roach out the window.

"Have you ever looked in the mirror and been disgusted with yourself?"

"Yes." I said softly.

She pulled out another spliff sighing.

"Everyday I wake up and put on the greatest performance for Stephen. I pretend to be something I'm not. I've become an introvert! Me an introvert! All because he is. All because he has no social skills. I act like this perfect woman. Like a saint. Because I want him to love me and stay."

She lit the spliff and took a long hard drag. She looked at me and smiled.

"I love him, I'm irrevocably in love with him. He hasn't even made me scream in bed and yet I love him."

I couldn't believe what Stella was saying. She seemed so happy. She seemed so okay so balanced. Yet here she was broken, being held together by a blunt.

She started to laugh and scooted closer to me. She brought her lips up to my ear grazing it in the process.

"You know when I first came to your company I always hoped you would save me from him."

I looked into her eyes. The smell of marijuana enveloped my senses and left me feeling hazy. Perhaps we could save each other I thought. I cupped her cheek with my hand and kissed her forehead.

"I wish I could save you Stella, but I can't."

She moved away from me and looked out the window.

I didn't know what to say. She was looking for something I couldn't give her. I couldn't help her find herself again. She was hurting and I couldn't fix her.

"Victoria is quite lovely isn't she?"

I was taken a back at her statement and I knew she saw it. Her eyes held resentment when she looked at me. She scoffed at me and continued looking out the window.

"Love is evil, It slowly creates a lie you start to believe. You ignore your conscious telling you something is wrong. You follow this lie to the end of the tunnel. By the time you realize you've  lost the truth you once believed is no where to be found. You're no longer yourself. You've become a lie."

The ride to the restaurant became silent. I kept playing back what Stella said. Love is evil? I don't know what I feel for Victoria than. I've felt evil before and it didn't feel like this.

"You don't love Stephen, you've become use to him to the point that you refuse to leave even if you're breaking your own heart."

She didn't reply back. She just sat there staring out the window silently crying.

"Sir we've arrived."

I gestured to the driver to keep going. We drove around for a couple more hours in silence. We didn't speak. We just sat quietly both in our own worlds wondering what to do next.