Destruction

21. Better Left Forgotten

Athena

"If you just talked to her!"

"Her? Listen to yourself Jude! It's not a her, it's an it, a monster. A monster that took a huge bite out of your neck! How can you even begin to defend that?"

"It's still her though. You talked to her."

"What about the other it?"

"What about him?"

"He just storms in like he fucking owns the place and then you help him by hitting me round the head!"

"You know it wasn't like that!"

"Then what the fuck was it like?"

They'd been arguing for hours, and it had been the same fight every single hour. The same curses, the same vile comments, the same hurtful words.

I'd never known where the dungeons were before, Lawrence thought it was better if it was on a strictly need to know bases so that no one would accidentally sleepwalk and let all the prisoners out.

He didn't have high hopes for us.

Resting my head between my knees I tried to force out the shouting from upstairs and instead focus on my dream.

All of my dreams had been memories, ones I'd worked hard to repress or hadn't cared to remember, apart from this one. It was different, as if I was the child everyone was fussing over and the people had a come to visit me.

That wasn't true though, I remembered my childhood, I'd seen photos of when I was born, of my first Christmas. It proved that it couldn't be a memory, but a weird and wonderful story that my mind had decided to create for me.

"They argue like a married couple."

Zachary's eyes were firmly shut, his legs were crossed and his arms were folded, but his lips pulled up to the side in a playful smirk.

"They've been like this for as long as I can remember."

"Figures."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?" The slight smirk breaks out into a breathtaking grin.

"Have you ever been married?" His eyes shot open as though someone flipped a switch. "I mean, your just a lot older than me I wondered if, I mean you must..."

"No. It's rare to find your mate, but I knew that when I found you I would want every experience to be the first."

I raise one eyebrow. "Every experience?"

He fidgets slightly and if he could blush I was sure that his cheeks would be the colour of this eyes, a brilliant devil red.

"So what do we do?"

"Well, since you fed on Blondie back there I'd suggest you use your blood connection to make him a thrall, it'll only be temporary and he won't even remember once it's over." He spoke as if he were a teacher and he was trying to explain why one plus one equals two.

And I hated it.

It was as if he was trying to rub it in my face, every single day, that I didn't belong in this world. And it was thanks to him, and only him, that I was still 'alive' to see the dawn breaking but never another sunrise.

"What's a thrall?"

"When we feed from a human we take their blood into our body, it fuels us, moves through our system keeping us 'alive'. And their blood is their life force, the only thing that keeps them alive. So the moment a vampire takes that blood into their own body they form a connection, it's weak but it's there, it's as if someone left a static TV on in the basement and you can hear the faint buzzing in the loft but you push it to the back of your mind because it's easier to just ignore it." He licked his dry chapped lips, he didn't look well, sort shrunk, as if his skin were too tight." But it's that connection which allows you to sink into their mind and 'control' them."

"OK, and how would I do that?"

"Simple, search for the buzzing, for the annoying irritating sound that slowly becomes louder and louder until it's deafening. Then picture Blondie and his mind should be yours." Again he licked his lips, the movement caused his whole face to shift. It looked painful, as if his cheekbones would cut straight through his skin. "But there's no point trying it yet, we can't even attempt to leave until night."

He shifted uncomfortably, as if every single part of his body caused him pain.

"Zachary, are you alright?"

He grunted and focused on a spot just above my head. "No."

It was barely more than a breath, a whisper, but it was him finally opening up. It was him making himself vulnerable.

I slowly stood up, my limbs protesting as they kept reminding me that I should be as still as possible and go back to sleep, but I pushed past the imaginary barrier in my head and wondered across to sit beside Zachary.

"Hey." I nudged his shoulder with mine. "Talk to me. What's the matter and what can I do to help?"

Again he licked his lips. "Healing, took nearly all the blood I had stored in me and now I'm burning off the very little I have left by staying awake." His head dropped in defeat, like he'd just admitted to his greatest sin.

"Then why don't you just go to sleep?"

He sucked in a deep breath, causing his whole chest to move with the impact. "Because I'm scared if I go to sleep, I won't wake be the same when I wake up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm concerned that if I'm not making a conscious effort to hold onto my humanity then I'll lose it and won't be able to get it back. No matter how hard I try." His eyes glazed over, as though he was caught in a memory that he'd once forgotten.

"Drink from me."

He shook his head. "No if I drink from you then we'll both be compromised."

"But without you we hardly stand a chance, without you alive and directing me I'll have absolutely no idea how to do any vampire mind control mojo."

He laughed. "When did you become so smart?"

"I've always been smart it's my fault you never noticed."

He smiled, even though it made him look like he was on death row it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "Why did you run away?"

I looked away, he was so nice, so kind, I couldn't help but feel guilty. "I felt like a was being kept as a toy, that you only wanted to talk to me when it suited you but as soon as I wanted to talk to you, as soon as I needed you. You just pushed me away."

I look straight in his eyes. "I felt worthless."

You'd have thought I'd be used to vampire speed by now, but it seems somethings can still take you by surprise.

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