“Troye,” Connor said as nonchalant as possible but failing as his breath started to pick up slightly in pace as he realised who had just turned to look at him.
“Connor,” Troye said simply. The tears had now stopped and were dry on his face, however, and all the feelings of anger and resentment made his eyes appear intimidating.
Troye got up of the bench and slowly walked around it to stand before Connor, his blue eyes never leaving Connor’s green. They then, for a good few minutes, just stared into each other’s orbs, each pair holding a different emotion. Troye’s face was stern and his muscles had become tense, but soon after peering into the green orbs he used to find so much comfort in, his features softened. Connor’s face stayed the same, his eyes held guilt, his features held sadness.
Connor watched as Troye’s face relaxed and soon their minds read the same thing, I missed you. As if they were having a conversation with their eyes both boys opened up their arms and embraced one another tightly, any sign of tension and conflict evaporated into the cold air, at least for now. Their heads were buried into the crook of each other’s necks and both shut their eyes as tears began to well up, all over again for Troye.
“I missed you,” Troye said speaking his thoughts, and whispering almost to keep within the sweet moment and not break it.
“I missed you too,” Connor whispered back. Hearing each other’s voices again after so long caused them both to lose control of their tears. “You have a right to push me away now,” Connor reminded him, for he knew he had hurt this boy, the one thing he promised he would never do. But he did, he always had to hurt people.
“I don’t want to,” Troye said in between sobs, his voice muffled.
“But were you not just mad at me?” Connor said thinking back to how Troye had just spoken and looked at him just a couple minutes ago.
“I can’t be mad at you Connor, you hurt me, but I know there must have been a reason,” Troye had then just admitted something he would not even admit to himself since Connor had left him, he knew Connor wouldn’t just push Troye away with no reason. Troye knew there had to be a reason for it subconsciously but he was too caught up in his own emotions to even give a damn about Connor’s. He was angry at himself for holding resentment for someone while he didn’t even know their side of the story.
“There was a reason Troye,” Connor whispered just loud enough for Troye to hear. They then let go of one another and went back around the bench and sat down, they didn’t sit close. “Look Troye,” Connor started and looked into the Australian’s glazed eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you, but I had to in order not to hurt someone else,” he confessed hoping it didn’t sound as harsh as it came out to his own ears.
“Oh,” he said slightly offended but let go of it, “Its fine Connor, I get it. But can I just ask who it was that was so important?” he said as he looked down at his hands.
“I had to break connection with you because,” he took a deep breath, nervous at what Troye would think or say. “I found someone else,” Troye had a slight suspicion about Connor finding another guy, but never thought more about it as it hurt to think about and it hurt now knowing about it too, it hurt so bad Troye felt almost as if he could feel his heart shatter at Connor’s words. “I’m sorry,” Connor said, the guilt eating at him.
“Don’t say sorry Connor, I get it,” he did understand but it didn’t stop his heart from hurting. “You found someone, I’m happy for you,” and almost to prove his point, Troye looked back to Connor and gave a bright smile, covering the hurt he felt entirely.
“Thank you Troye,” he said relieved that this confession didn’t end up in a screaming match or one of them breaking down completely.
“But why could you not just tell me? We could have been friends right?” Connor looked down at his hands again now thinking about just why he had to ignore Troye. Deep down Connor knew the only reason he didn’t just tell Troye was because he knew; first of all it would hurt Troye and hurt him as well to see Troye upset, secondly Connor had to get over Troye in the first place to focus on his new boyfriend, but it was even more a case of a jealous boyfriend.
