Lucas stood where he was, looking at me, he still looked mad.
"Why would you ever go out with him?"
"I wasn't out with him, I ran into him while I was out, by myself." I stated.
"But you went home with him." That was a low blow.
"Your leaving me, so what does it matter? Your not letting me come with you because you have someone else!" I screamed.
"I don't have anybody else Marie! I'm not leaving you."
"Yes you are." I sobbed.
Lucas looked away from me, he didn't look mad anymore, he looked guilty.
"Please just leave me alone." I whispered.
"Not until we figure this out." He shook his head, I walked out of the room, Lucas caught me before I could get out of the house, he held me around the waist.
"I have to know," Lucas paused and sighed. "What did you do with him?"
"I danced with him, but I didn't know it was him until later last night."
Lucas loosened his hold around me but he didn't completely let go of me. "I was really messed up so he took me to a hotel, I had my own room." I added.
"Why do you think I'm leaving you?"
"You told me you were moving, then that you were going out of the country and I couldn't come with you." I said, crying again.
Lucas tightened both his arms around me. "I love you, I hate myself for letting you think I'm leaving you."
We stood in the kitchen, Lucas still had his arms wrapped around me, neither of us said anything.
"I bought the property across the road from my house." Lucas whispered against my hair. "I figured when we were ready to live together, you could design a house for us. It's stupid but I thought if you were planning it you would want to live with me more."
Okay, that made me feel bad, so he wasn't moving to London, but he was still being kind of shady about it. And on the other hand, he bought property and wants me to design a house for us. How could I tell him no? Did I even want to tell him no?
"are you really leaving for business?" I asked, turning in Lucas's arms so I could see his face. He looked away from me.
"No.." He whispered. My stomach dropped, I twisted out of Lucas's arms.
"Why?"
Lucas looked at me, he opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.
"So, your not going for business, your going for you? And I'm not allowed to come?"
"I don't want to talk about it right now." Lucas said.
I walked over to the door and opened it. "Then leave." Lucas shook his head but walked out the door, I slammed it shut behind him.
I laid on the couch for a while. I almost forgot that my car was still at the club, and had probably been towed by now.
It was only 3:00 in the afternoon, I had nothing to do and nobody to hang out with. I got up off the couch and went to my bedroom to get the stuff I needed to roll a blunt.
After I smoked, I gathered up some dirty laundry so I could wash it. When I was at the bottom of my hamper I found one of the t-shirts Lucas had left here.
I slid it on over my tank top and tied it in the back to make it fit better. While the laundry was in the washer I went into the kitchen to find a snack, while I stood at the counter picking through my food Lucas walked in. I looked up at him through my blood shot eyes.
"I picked your car up." Lucas said putting the keys on the counter in front of me.
I slid them back to him.
"It's your car."
"Are you really going to be like this?"
"I'm not being like anything, your being like something." I said, confusing myself, what the hell did I just say? "Yeah, your being secretive." I added
"So, what's it matter?"
Oh hell no
"It matters because I can't think of anything you would possibly go there for? You won't tell me so you are leaving me to believe your cheating on me!" I sighed and closed my eyes.
"No, it doesn't matter, you see this hurts me and you don't care."
I snatched the keys off the counter and stormed out the door. I walked outside and climbed into the drivers side of the escalade.
I drove to the liquor store in town and got a whole bottle of the peach liquor I was taking shots of last night.
When I got home I got out of the car and walked up the steps to the porch swing. I unscrewed the lid on the liquor and started drinking from the bottle.
I sat outside and played country music on my phone while I finished the bottle of liquor. When I stood up to go inside I could barely hold my balance.
I clung on to the patio chairs until I put my hand on the door knob. I started falling backwards, somehow I managed to catch myself.
I didn't like the way I felt right now, I wanted nothing more than to be sober. I leaned against the door, pressing my cheek to its cool surface.
I twisted the door knob without realizing that the door was the only thing holding me up, I fell inside the doorway with no desire to pick myself up.
I herd Lucas call my name before I was lifted off the ground, "why are you still here." My words were slurred.
Lucas took me to my bedroom, he let go of me to pull the blankets down from the bed, I looked down at the ground.
"I'm going to fall." I tried to tell Lucas. "I'm going to fall!"
"You're already on the ground, your so messed up, Marie."
"Everything's turning sideways!" I started to panic.
I felt my soft bed make contact with my body, but it didn't stop the room from spinning, it spun to fast, I got so dizzy, I felt so sick.
I sat up on the bed, my face started to sweat. Lucas stood me up and helped me to the bathroom.
Lucas left me in the bathroom by myself, the door was just barely cracked. I sat in front of the toilet for a while, when nothing happened I reached over and turned on the shower.
I climbed inside the bathtub, still dressed, I pulled my knees up to my chest and started sobbing. Why was I so upset over him! Why does he have to have so much control over my feelings? He said that he loved me and he hated himself for letting me think he was leaving me. I shook my head.
Lucas pushed the bathroom door open and turned off the water. "Marie! This is freezing cold!" I kept sobbing. Lucas pulled me up out of the bathtub and put a towel over my head and started drying my hair.
Lucas picked me up and carried me to my bed. "You need to put on dry clothes, can you do that?"
I had stopped crying by now, I nodded my head. I took my pants and shirt off, Lucas got a t-shirt and bed shorts out for me.
I put the t-shirt on over my head and slipped my bra off underneath it, then my underwear. I pulled the blanket up over myself.
"I do care. I want you to come with me." Lucas whispered. I opened my eyes to look at him, nodded, then closed them again.
Lucas walked out of the bedroom, I assumed he was making sure the door was locked and everything was turned off.
When he came back, he turned off the light in my bedroom and climbed in bed with me.
