Park Benches (EDITING)

twenty-three

twenty-three

 

Charlotte’s POV

 

            They were back, the feelings, and they were bad. I hated it. I hated liking him, but it was hard not to. Louis was charming, charismatic, a goof, but serious when he needed to be. I’d just been getting so close with him. Argh! It’s terrible. How can you hate loving somebody so much?

        Louis just says things at the perfect moment; it’s like he’s trying to crack me open, hitting each opening as hard as possible. It just wasn’t fair.

            He has Eleanor and I have Emilio, but I’m still not sure about Emilio. Before I left I promised myself that I would not be one of those girls who left and then in a week or two she calls and tells her innocent boyfriend that she met somebody else. I hated telling people bad news.

            Also, there’s that stupid Decker “legend” that Aunt Erin won’t shut up about. “Every Decker lady has met their one true love in the mother country; it dates back to your great-grandma.” Aunt Erin was ridiculous, but I knew deep down that it could be true. I had always believed that things happened for a reason, in other words, I believed in fate. Not that I thought that Louis was my fate or anything.

            Now that I think about it fate was really in play for me here in this foreign country. I run into a famous pop star and his girlfriend at the mall and strike up some piece of a friendship. Then I manage to run into the heartthrob once again at the park, when his girlfriend decides not to show up. Or was when they waltzed in on a date when I was at a check-up with Aunt Erin at the place where my mother and father first met. Everything was perfect, almost planned, and that scared me.

            I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t just let myself have him, why I didn’t give in. I knew I was stubborn, but never against myself. I was just as ridiculous as every other woman in the family. That’s why I had consulted my mother and Aunt Erin.

            My mother really didn’t care for my mess of a love life, she just wanted me happy, and no matter whom the man was. My mother had never been a great help in the love life department; it was usually an aisle she chose to rush past. Back when my relationship with Emilio was developing I kept coming to her with our daily news, of course she would listen, but with such a dry, almost painful face. Once I began to notice the angst in her whenever I spoke of my relationship I stopped and went to my friends, which may have hurt her more.

        Aunt Erin had been almost as helpful as my mother, she just kept repeating the same thing over and over again: “He’s you’re London Love, just let it be sweetie.” I guess she was sort of biased; she had never met Emilio and has only heard what I’ve told her. I don’t even think she’s seen a picture of him. And Louis was famous, which kind of made him number one in everyone’s eyes, but I tried to disregard that characteristic of him. 

        I couldn’t seek advice from my friends back home, they’d freak if they found out I was sort of on the low with Louis Tomlinson of One Direction. All my private details could be leaked and I definitely did not want that, for obvious.

        After a few days of sitting on my fire escape and just thinking reality had hit me. It had hit me hard too.

        I was a lying girl who was technically sneaking around a friend’s back with her man, with my own man out of the country. I was a terrible person and I should just cease all feelings towards Louis, if possible. I was the type of girl that soap operas are based on, the one who was slept around just for fun with her friend’s boyfriends. I might as well been wearing a preppy blazer and matching miniskirt.

        This realization had brought tears to my eyes and the phone to my ear, I had called Emilio. I hadn’t told him much; just that I missed him so much and wished he was here right now. For some reason I was praying that he would confess that he cheated on me in a one night stand or that he was breaking up with me for some cute college girl in his Physics class, but he hadn’t. Emilio had simply responded with the same thing: he missed me and wished I was there with him.

        After that I cut off all my thinking at just slept, never once leaving my bed for three days. I had never felt so terrible, guilt was basically chained me to the bed. I hadn’t even showered in days and I thought I was decomposing so I finally did, but unlike believed the worlds answers did not come to me as I shampooed. So I continued on with my “life.”

        Only wrapped up in pink, furry knee-high socks and an oversized tourist sweater I’d somehow picked during my while here. Tying my damp hair back into a ponytail I opened up the window, letting a cool breeze flutter through my room, making me smile, my first smile in a while. I turned on my out-of-season Christmas lights and snuggled up under the covers and reached for my laptop; for I had plans, not to melt my brain with Netflix marathons, but to write. My mind was a clogged drain, just wanting to pour everything out. Subconsciously my fingers began pressing on the keys.

 The way I feel towards you

Is so mysterious and magical

I feel as if

I could make you appear

Out of thin air

 

        There was a slow knock at the door, causing me to freeze and hop towards my closet for pants. I glided black corduroy short over my legs as I rushed to the door. With a deep breath I paused and slicked back my hair before opening the door.

        And suddenly there was no use in that deep breath because I couldn’t breathe.

            Because the man I’d been aching and wishing for stood before slumped and hands in his jacket pocket. “Hey,” he muttered under his breath.

            “Hey Louis,” I managed to make out shakily.

~

YES I AM BACK

PRAISE ME.

I know this chapter is shit and short, but I needed to update okay.

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