Park Benches (EDITING)

twenty-nine

twenty-nine

Charlotte’s POV

        My stomach churned, I felt like I was going to be sick. With wet hands, I covered my mouth and ran into the bathroom and hung myself over the bowl. I heaved, but nothing came out. I heaved again, my body aching, but nothing came out.

        I felt hot and sweaty. Everything ached and I just wanted to die. Everything was good, but I had to be dumb and mess everything up. I had to be my stubborn self and just kept leading Emilio on while I was with Louis. I was trying to protect him from something I never wanted to happen, even though it was inevitable.

        Everything had happened a little over two hours ago, but the pain hadn’t stopped. Neither had my thoughts. I had been curled in the fetal position, crying next to the door the entire time. I didn’t think it would ever stop.

        The tears were still pouring out of me like a sink with broken handles. Emilio didn’t even know. He didn’t know I was a liar. He didn’t know that I was a selfish cheater. I should just call him, tell him everything, and let him hate me forever. I stepped up and away from the toilet, pushing the hair from my face.

        Running the facet, I splashed some cold water on my face, wishing this was all just a nightmare. As I patted my face with a washcloth, I stared hard into the mirror. I didn’t even look like myself. I began to cry again as I took my phone in my hand, dialing Emilio.

        “Hey Lotts,” Emilio’s voice sounded soft and sweet as always on the other end of the line. I sniffled, “Is everything alright? Are you crying? What’s wrong?” He was so sincere, I felt like the evilest person alive.

        “Em, I’m a terrible person.” I cried into the phone. “I’m sorry.”

        “Charlotte, what did you do?” His voice broke a little bit, as if he already knew. “It’s you and that Louis fellow, isn’t it?” I stopped breathing, but then began to sob harder.

        “How do you know about that?”

        “Charlotte, you can’t really sneak around with a celebrity, it’s kind of impossible. I’ve seen your face in so many magazines, I just didn’t want to believe it.”

        “I’m sorry. If you knew, why did you buy tickets to come see me?”

        “I wanted to win you back, but deep down I knew he’d always beat me. In the photos, I’d never seen you look so happy, Char.” He started to cry as well. “I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

        “I wish you were yelling at me.” I laughed, rubbing my eyes. “I think it would make this easier.” He laughed too. I held my face in my hands again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept leading you on. I should have told you from the beginning. It’s just...I was so confused. I was so angry with you.”

        “I know I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” I could practically see him shaking his head. “Now I’ve lost you.”

        “I wish I could redo the past few months.”

        “It’s okay.” There was a long pause.

        “I wish you would just say you hooked up with some chick at a party. It would make this a lot easier.”

        “But you know I never would.” Emilio was such a good guy. I hated myself.

        “I hate that I made you spend your hard earned money on a plane ticket to London. Those things are refundable, right?”