#ILoveYou #YouLoveHer

#ItalicizedHim

Michelle

You know him. The him that makes your heart beat like a drum and turn your stomach into butterflies.

The him that is getting married. The him that you must get over.

I think we all have that special someone. That someone that we could've been with, but for one reason or another, we didn't.

The italicized him.

Or the italicized her.

–

"Well, their relationship never made any sense to me," Cosmo remarked after finding out about the breakup.

"Why? I thought they made a pretty good couple."

"Really?" he asked with an eyebrow raised. "Come on, you've been counting down days till their breakup since the moment they got together. You just thought that you'd be the reason for the breakup, didn't you?"

Honestly, I did think that. I did think that I'd be the reason. Although, I can't really pinpoint why I'd feel that way.

"Actually, in a way. I suppose I did mess things up a bit for me. Tia must hate me," I admitted. If I hadn't gone along with Nate's fake date or if I had told Nate's parents the truth or if...

"Nah, she could never hate you."

"We're frenemies. Of course she hates me."

"Frenemies?" he asked doubtfully. "Nope, Mich. That's not it. That's not the source of tension. Actually, maybe a bit. She was jealous of you and Nate's relationship. But not for reasons you might think."

"Enlighten me, then."

"You know how you have your italicized him. That crazy crush you can't seem to get over? Well, you're hers."

"I am over it. And wait, what?"

"Yes, Tia likes girls too."

"No way!"

"Yes way, dear. But you know pastor parents and all. I think she can't really come out. And that's why she hates you."

"You are not making sense."

"I am. You just don't want to make sense of it. Fact 1: Tia swings both ways too. Fact 2: She liked you. Fact 3: Her and Laura- not just friends. Fact 4: well, she really does like Nate."

"Past tense. You used the past tense," I clarified. That's apparently all I got from Cosmo's statement.

"Yes, liked. I think she's over you," he answered. "But you never know."

"I don't believe you."

"Fine, believe what you want."

Tia liked me?

And then a thought occurred to me, "So if I liked both of them, we can potentially have a threesome?"

"Ha. No. You don't want to do that."

Huh, was that it the whole time.

It's funny. Because I don't feel like I deserve the love that I get. And I guess that's how I lost it. I lost them.