#ILoveYou #YouLoveHer

#TheList

Michelle

I'd like to think that the reason that I still don't have a boyfriend is (pathetic addictive personality crush on him aside) that I have a pretty long list of requirements. Nate has his Chinese thing, Tia has her Protestant thing, while I have both those things plus a few more.

Speaks both Chinese (Mandarin) and English. I should add Filipino (Tagalog) to the list but that's asking for too much. Anyway, he or she needs to speak Chinese because most of my older relatives don't speak anything else. And you need to be able to talk to the older relatives, because they have the most angpao to give. And English, because, duh, I ramble my head in English, I speak to almost everyone I knew from preschool to college to that one year of work in this country in English. And generally, I think speaking English is a perk (I'm looking at you, Taiwan, whose predominantly Chinese signs and menus had been the bane of my four year move-out-and-to-assert-my-independence stint existence), because then you don't need to rely on subtitles (or delay the premiere dates because you are dubbing the whole thing) to watch American movies and television (watching a movie a month later, when all the spoilers and the feels post have already been trending and then not trending on Facebook, is not fun). Okay, that was long.

Smart. Because, duh. And then you'd ask, what is the definition of smart. Is it based on someone's education or IQ or what. Well, really, I think you can tell if someone's using their brain after one conversation. Or, well, I was Comp Sci and most of my colleagues are programmers, and we do read each others code (I'm not saying that I'm smart or that I'm a good coder, because I'm not. I'm at most average?), so yup, your code will kind of say it all. But hey, does that mean that he or she must be a programmer? Nope. He or she can do anything else, but he or she needs to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation. Okay, what is the definition of an intelligent conversation. What constitutes as an intelligent conversation? Are we talking about deep philosophical discussions about the origin of the world? Maybe. If he or she would like to, we can go there. So to sum up this item, he or she needs to be using his or her brain. But, he or she can't be a smart ass either. Because, duh, then they would be unbearable. Or he or she can't think that they're the smartest person that walked the earth, but can't walk their talk. You know those type, right?

Okay, I let's move on to the next item on the list.

Have some sort of belief system. Or faith in something bigger and greater than themselves that is doling out rewards and mostly justice. Yes, this item should be, he or she needs to be Protestant, or something like that. But I don't think that a person has to be Protestant to be a certain kind of person. I think that the root of all religion is sort of the same. There is this being, I sometimes call Him God or Jesus, sometimes when I'm fatalistic, I call it the Universe, that controls (manipulates?) our lives. Not in a we're just pawns in a giant chess board way. But in a way, that not everything in our lives is in our control, but we should just have faith or fate (yes, I know that those are two very different things, one more pessimistic than the other). I believe (after reading a few Paulo Coelho books) that "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping us achieve it". It could also be a divine miracle, which I also believe in (and sang about in my childhood choir girl days). I guess, believing in this greater power means that we believe that we are accountable for all the things that we do on this earth. This isn't saying that the good gets reward and the bad gets punished, because it doesn't always (actually mostly doesn't) happen that way. It's just that when we feel like there is someone watching over us, we'd be more conscious I think in what we do.

Ambitious. He or she needs to want more in his or her life. Actually, this is a deal breaker for me. I cannot stand people who just settle for things or who willingly submit themselves to a rat life (Rich Dad, Poor Dad's rat race thing). I want to be with someone who dreams (it can even be a highfaluting dream that is closer to the clouds) and who works to achieve that dream. I want someone who constantly push themselves to be better than they were yesterday. I'm not saying that he or she needs to be career ladder driven, because I personally don't believe in the career ladder. I'm just saying that hey, at least you have a goal, at least you know who you want to be at the end of the day. I know that us 20 somethings get confused and lost sometimes about who we are and who we are supposed to be, and that's okay, at least you want to be someone better right. You don't want to remain you (skill wise, intelligence wise, encompassing maturity wise), from after graduation until the rest of your life, right?

Okay, and then there are the items that has to be in here because I am my parent's daughter, and a member of our slightly judgmental and narrow minded bubble of a community. Chinese (hey, we are all a little racist. Although, it's mostly because as a people- actually this might be too long to just be in parenthesis, I will expand on this later on), Protestant (same reason as Tia's) and male (because unfortunately, despite my pansexual gender identity, our little bubble is not that accepting of same sex relationships).

Financially... Okay (this is me, saying rich, without being too obvious). He or she doesn't have to be like Donald Trump rich (actually Donald Trump is not as rich as he'd want us to believe), but he or she should at least have enough money to you know, not beg on the streets, or work a blue collar job, or, you get it. Although, maybe this should be bumped up to a potential husband checklist. But anyway, if ever it's on that checklist, then it's pretty obvious, right? You'd need someone that is able to support you and your future household (could include kids, and kids' education these days are expensive). Not that this is an item that I need to worry about, because Nate and Ellie's families (even his) are pretty loaded. Although, I never really ended up with any of them. Anyway... Oh yah, don't have to be hotelier, CEO, shiek Harlequin rich either. Run-the-mill upper B class is acceptable.Needs to come from a well-to-do family, but, a semi big but, doesn't want to rely on his or her family. He or she needs to still get their hands dirty and not just count on a COO (child of owner) title to get them through life. Sure, you can ask your parents to financially invest on your company, that's okay, because hey, we all need investors. But you'd need to yah, actually do the work.

So, yah, a pretty long (actually, 8 items isn't really long, is it?) list.