How it Goes

Chapter 15- questions

Kai's POV-

I woke up to the shuffling of the covers next to me. I turned to see Kyungsoo was trying to get somewhat comfortable in my tiny twin size bed. He looked so cute. His eyes fluttered in the tiniest way once and awhile. I watched him sleep. I wanted to kiss him again. Like yesterday.
I put my hand on his back and started rubbing it slowly. He shoved it off and turned around. This time I hugged him from behind and wrapped my legs around him in a tight koala hug. He slowly turned his head blinking his eyes. I smiled at him and he turned around to face me.
    " Hi." I said softly.
"Hi."
    "Sorry for the tight squeeze in here." I moved closer to the end of the bed to give him more room. 
    He responded to me by pulling away and moved closer hugging my waist. Our lengths touched slightly and I pulled back from the feeling I got. I could tell my cheeks were red because he was smiling at me.
    "Kyung", I started, "Why did you kiss me yesterday?"
His smile started to fade out. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.
    "Because I love you Jongin. I have for aw-"
I cut his words off by grabbing his waist and kissing him. 
    " I think I love you too."
His eyes were looking deep into mine not saying anything.
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   We walked into the kitchen where I found Jonghyun and Minho talking to Suho and Lay. There conversation stoped as soon as the 4 saw me.
    "Kai."
My stomach dropped with reasons why they could be here running in my head.
    "H-hi." My voice was shaky. "Have you seen Taemin?" Tears were behind my eyes.
Minho walked slowly to me with his hands in his pockets.
    "We haven't seen him yet."
"What? No. He has to be somewhere. He has to be." I was already crying.
    "We told the managers about it. So hopefu-"
"No!No!" I grabbed Minho by his shirt. "Taemin didn't want us to do that! I was so furious I wanted to scream. "He said he was gonna be ok that that we didn't need to tell him!"
    "We'll do you think he's really ok right now Jongin? Huh? Should we just let him figure this out? Because obviously he's not ok! I know your trying to believe in him but you can't right now! Ok?
    I walked slowly to the couch with my hands on my head. I laid down and hugged my knees into my chest. I hated everything. I'm mad at everything. I'm mad at myself for trusting Taemin. I'm mad at Taemin for being stupid. I'm mad at Minho for telling our managers. I'm mad at Hanwoo for making him like this. I'm just mad.
    "Jongin-I- want to tell you this."
I looked up to see Jonghyun.
    "Taemin- he"
I could tell he was searching for words.
    "He wants you to be happy."
Bullshit.
    "He told us one night. He had a break down. We were watching tv and he came in and just started yelling at us. He was yelling at Hanwoo. Probably drunk. But once we calmed him down he started saying on how much he wanted you to be happy because he knew how him being hurt affected you."
    "Great. Glad to hear it." I said sarcastically. "If he was so damn worried about my happiness WHY was he so STUPID to run away? If he was so concerned why? Why would he think this would be easier? THIS WOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING? ILL TELL YOU ONE THING TAEMIN YOU'RE NOT HELPING ANYONE!
I felt dizzy. I wanted to pretend this never happened. I wanted so many things it's making my head hurt. I had so many questions I knew I couldn't get answers to.
    "Kai. Please. We're going to find him. It's ok. It will be ok. I promise. He will get found. Jonghyun wrapped his arms around me for a hug but I just sat there. Not moving a single muscle.

    Kyungsoo's POV-
    A few days past. Still no Taemin. He's been gone for 4 days now. It's also been 4 days since I kissed Kai. However, he's barley talked to anyone let lone me for the last 2 days.
I wanted to comfort him. I tried but he just sat there not even looking at me. We leave for Exo'r dium tomorrow night and none of us are in the right shape for it.