Just Me

Thank you!

I know I don't say this enough. Cause I hardly ever do because I'm always busy insulting you or probably cause I'm learning the rap of the most random Spanish rap song but mostly because I get busy coming up with ways to be much cooler than I already am. That is hard right!? But seriously, there are those times, a lot of them to be honest where it hits me that I would be a mere grain of sand on the beach if you weren't there to hold my hand. If you had given up on me just the way I did on myself. I just wanna say thank you for keeping me alive and well. 

It's not just for the times when you talked me into living and not just for the times when you gave me your shoulder cry. It's for every one of those little things that made the awesome me today. 

Thank you for the times you stood up for me against all those dirty finger pointing my way and against all those rumors. Thank you for helping me slay life better than zendaya slaying a red carpet. For being there against the bullies and crying with me 'til we're down on your knees. 

For being there through all my weird phases. For saving my ass everytime I managed to set it on fire. For those days when you patiently listened to me while I cribbed about some random cocky bastard. Honestly thank you for letting me have all the drama I needed without having to worry much about the consequences.

Thank you for being brave and sitting through all my impromptu karaoke sessions and them lovely dance performances. Thank you for making me feel that it's normal to eat only two thirds of an Oreo else it will be too Oreo-y. For making me feel completely sane even after staying up all night for the most insane reality shows and that no matter which accent I put on, I'll still be your same ol' bitch. Thank you for letting me be who I am without feeling out of place. For encouraging me to be myself cause we're the only ones sane in this insane world. 

For those little joys you bring in to my life. For a life full of times where I can just stare into the distance and smile like an idiot cause you crossed my mind. In the very little time you had with me you left fireflies to light up the Dead Sea brighter than the biggest star! Thank you for being the one to understand me and support me. Being their through the stupid times and the dark ones. You left a mark so strong that I can always to it for comfort and always know I'll have you to make me smile on a bad day.

For all the days when you refused to leave even after I kept pushing you away. For the times when you forgave me even after me acting like a basic bee-otch. The times you stood behind me just making sure that I wouldn't fall back into the abyss of sadness that I created for myself. For taking care of me when I was sick to the stomach and was reluctant to be nice. For guiding me through each day when I was scared to death and teaching me that being strong can be easy. Trust me baby it was only easy cause I had the strongest training wheels of 'em all you. 

I'm grateful to have someone who will always make sure that I'm the best version of mysel. I can never be thankful enough to have someone who won't let me die young and pretty but is ready to me till I'm a bald emu choking on her death bed at the age of 90. That I can have skin as wrinkled as a walrus but I'll still have someone to share the middle finger with. I'm so glad to have you here that you're the only person I'd share my last slice of pizza with. 

I promise you that I'll always be your bubble bath after a long day. But beware, I might be this thankful today but, it's not gonna take me long to dig your grave. Just saying! 

I know for a fact that as you guys read through this there was constantly someone in your subconscious mind. That someone who is making sure that not every inch of your life sucks. That someone who is making you smile like an idiot right now even if you are reluctant about smiling. Never forget that person when you are cribbing about how hard your life is and ending it is your only option. Cause it hurts them somewhere deep down that even if they're trying so hard to make your life perfect they're failing miserably. 

So the next time you think about self harm think about that one person who is making you smile right now. Cause you should never upset an angel. Considering the amount they pull your leg, they might be an angel from hell but they are yours and they are making your life wonderful with tiny moments of joy that can remove a life's worth of pain. 

I'm sure they deserve a smile too right now. So just pick your phone and send them a simple ' I love you '. Cause honey you love them more than you realize today. 

Ps while you're texting the I love you just get them to read this as well. XD

Love,

Appy