Just Me

Memories

Memory is the process by which information is encoded, stored, and retrieved. Encoding allows information from the outside world to be sensed in the form of chemical and physical stimuli. That's what Wikipedia thinks. But you know what memory is? It's like little fireflies inside you always keeping you warm. Yes, they can tear you apart at times but they still have a sense of warmth. Be it good or bad, happy or sad memories have their own way of reminding who you are and what you deserve. They are sometimes your motivation. And then the other times they become your source of strength.

                 

We're moving into a new year. It's a new start a new beginning? Really? I don't think so. Cause no matter how much 2016 sucked you can't erase it all. 2016 was terrible in terms of politics, peace, love and justice but it's still a part of us just the way your first love was. You can always look at your first love in two ways. The new sweet thing you had discovered or the terrible experience you got from it. Now that's what makes life so beautiful and special. You can look at everything in so many different ways. You have the luxury of choosing what adds up to the good part and what adds up the bad. So put your chin up and walk with poise. Listen to Victor Melling. That man knows it all. P.s; Vic was Sandra Bullock's coach in 'Miss Congeniality'.
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Everything doesn't have to be accounted or always spoken of. For example Snoop Dogg's acting in golden door. Don't always remind yourself of your mistakes. Yes, you should remember them because it's necessary to not get hurt doing the same mistakes again. But, don't be like me. Crying for hours only contemplating what your life has boiled down to. Cherish what you can remember and laugh at how much you've evolved.

It may be about that time you made eye contact with amazingly hot guy on the train or probably that time Ronald McDonald gave you the best time of your life when he introduced something new *wink wink*.  What about that amazing day you had with your squad or that beautiful talk you had with your mother next to a lake? Your good hair days. I mean who doesn't cherish that? A test that went surprisingly well and or just a surprise pizza party.

So we all have different kinds of memories. Like the ones which teach you a lesson, some tell you how amazing you are, a few which you wish you forgot and a few more which make you tear up. We tend to erase bad memories and block them at the darkest sides of our minds. Well it's been a very dark year. So why don't we just unleash those and leave them behind in this pathetic year?

My past haunts me. Not a stupid guy. The parts where I came home with bruises everyday. Not because I fell down while having fun but I was hit by my classmates and pushed down on purpose. Along with the red knees came the red eyes. Complimentary of course. This accounts to like 15% of the haunting. The worst part of all this was there was not one person who'd stop stop making fun of me crying and actually try to stop it. Wipe a tear or something like that. But I can also choose to believe that those memories are a good thing that happened to me. It is because of them that apart from a hot mess I'm also the strong independent girl I am today who can wipe her tears herself. It because of them that I won't let anything hurt me again. It is because of them that I don't complicate my life anymore. So always remember to take the good story of everything.

But those cant be the only memories you make. Yes it is in fact sad that I can't point out to anything more than 2 years ago and say that was something I wanna always rewind to. But you know what life doesn't stop today. There are always gonna be new moments which don't have to be sad or bad. So you ought to create them for yourself. So instead of fixating yourself on every bad thing that has occurred try to focus on the new things that you can make. The past is always gonna be there but don't get yourself to pick up only the bad memories. Start a new beginning this new year. Not by forgetting the shitty 2016 but by creating a new memory each day. A happy one. The one that'll make you feel warm on a winter's night.

Along with the sad pathetic nights where I've cried myself I've had those nights where I've just laughed till dawn. Memories of amazing food with a bunch of amazing people. Memories which make you feel like you're the luckiest person alive. Those which prove that you can be the luckiest person alive. Midnight rendezvous and surprises that light every corner of your brain with excitement. Concentrate on those memories which show you that you can be filled with joy if you let it.

Doesn't matter if you were bullied or if you were lonely remove that coat and leave it to burn in the hell of 2016. Because you my friend have 365 more happy memories to make. Just tell out the darkest memories of yourself one last time before you promise yourself to not let them control you again.

You can always make happy memories with any stranger. Start by smiling to more people. Who knows? You'll give them a happy memory. And I'm always here for you. To help you. Not just because I'm jobless but mainly because
I love you and you love me.

Merry Christmas and happy new year y'all

All the love
Appy