Kill Me

How much do I mean to you?

"I can." He says while he loads the gun and walks out of the door.

-Lana's POV-


I lay naked cuddled up next to Calum as I close me eyes. For the first time in a long time I feel complete.
No rules, no gangs, no killing, no Dean. Just Calum and me.
Soon, That happiness fades away when I hear the front door shut. I sit up and look at Calum who just stays calm.
"Calum, didn't you hear that?" I ask.
"Of course I did, but it's probably just one of the guys. Don't worry." He says pushing me back into him.
I close my eyes again, ready to fall asleep.
Then I hear someone come up the stairs and starting to open doors.
"Calum?" I ask as I'm about to sit up straight again.
He opens his eyes now but puts his finger on his lips, signing me to be quiet.
He pushes me back and lays defensively an arm around me.
"Don't you have a gun here somewhere?" I whisper as quiet as I can.
He seems to think but then nods.
Before he even can move to grab it, the door burst open.
Calum immediately sits a little more up so I'm more covered. I freeze when I see who it is.
Dean.


"So, it's true?" He asks.
"What?" I ask back.
"You have feelings for Calum."
I was quiet, not knowing what to say.
If I say that I did, I would let down Dean.
If I say that I didn't, I would let down Calum.
Apparently Dean took the silence as a yes and sighs. He holds out his gun and points it at Calum.
"It's nothing personal." Dean says.
"No!" I yell while I crawl for Calum.
"Lana, get out the way."
"No."
"No?"
"I don't want you to shoot Calum." I mumble.
"I need to."
"No, you don't.."
"Lana, you're coming with me. Now." He sighs and turns around.
"Grab you're gun." I whisper to Calum.
"Don't even think about it!" Dean says while he turns back to me.
"I'm done with your games Lana. You're coming with me, or I'm going to blow his head off."
I look at Calum for support, but he just nods defeated. I sigh and look back at Dean.
"Fine, I'll come. But you leave Calum alone."
He turns around and walks out of the door.
I look at Calum but he begins to dress himself again, avoiding all eye contact.
I sigh and dress myself too. When I'm done I see Calum staring at me. I don't pay attention and walk out of the door. I walk straight pass Dean and out of the house, into the woods. Then I start running. I try to run away from everything.
Dean, Calum, Charlie, Dylan... Everyone.


After an hour I stop. It's dark, it's cold and I'm alone. This is nowhere from good.
I sit down and try to catch my breath. How many times did I say that I was done with this? Probably a lot. I'm still going to say it again. I'm so done with this crap. The gang, Dean, Calum. Why can't they just disappear? Why can't I have a normal family with a mum and a dad, maybe a brother..?


I sit there for a long time because suddenly I see the sun come up.
I yawn and stand up. I begin to find my way out of the woods.
Let's face the devil himself.


After 2 hours I find my way back out of the woods. I walk to my house and pass Calum's on my way. I see briefly that Calum is outside and turn my head a little to get a better look. He's holding a girl's hand and I feel the pain again. Then he begins to lean in. Great, that's how much I mean to him. I hold my head high and walk straight pass them.
When I'm out of eyesight I begin to run.


When I'm home I don't even bother to talk to anyone. I run to my room and shut the door. I lock it and run to my bed.
"Lana?" I hear Charlie at the other side of the door.
"What?" I reply bitter.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this."
I sigh and unlock the door. She stands there with tears in her eyes.
"Don't mind Charles, he doesn't care about me, so I don't care about him. I don't give a fuck about what he's doing right now."
"We're talking about Calum?"
I nod my head.
"Good." I hear behind Charlie.
I look over her shoulder and see its Dean.
"Why?" I reply.
I don't care what Calum did, but I'm still mad at Dean.
"Because we're going to kill them anyway. Better if you're not sad about it."
"What?" I look at him and he nods.
"When?"
"In a few days I guess."
I don't say anything and Dean walks away.


"Lana?" I hear Charlie again.
"Uhh, yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I smile.
She nods her head and walks away.


~the next day~


So I'm going to kill Calum, that's not a big deal. Well, I'm not going to kill Calum, my gang is. But I'll have to participate.
I sigh while I look at my phone. Tomorrow I'll have to go back to school and face Calum.
I sigh again and see that Dean walks into the living room.
"So, I've been talking..." He begins.
"Ow God, here it comes." I sigh and I see him smile.
Wow, that's long ago, since he smiled.
"Maybe we could attack them somewhere next week?"
"Uhh, mkay."
"No, yelling, screaming, pointing guns at my head?" He asks lifting his eyebrows.
"Nah, I'll spare you today. Besides, it's fine with me."
"You're Sure?"
"Hmhm, I don't wanna get stuck in this..." I make a invisible circle with my hand. "thing..."
He nods his head in understanding.
He's been nicer than expected.
"Well, I'm going to take care of some things, you get ready for school." He points a finger at me.
"Yeah, yeah." I sigh and stand up.
I walk to my room and pack my bag for tomorrow. I choose an outfit already and then I go to bed and fall asleep.


~the next morning~

I wake up by the alarm and need to think for a second. Then I realize where I am. I'm not at Calum's anymore. I also just realized that I skipped school for those few days. Wow, that were only days, It felt like weeks. I stand up and dress myself.

I walk downstairs and help myself to some breakfast as Charlie comes down.
"Do we walk together to school?" She asks as she grabs one of my sandwiches.
"Sure." I reply while I finish my breakfast and grab my back.


We walk together to school and I see Calum standing at his car with that girl.
Charlie sees them to and I can feel her hold her breath and grab my hand, in case I would blow his head off.
"Don't bother Charles, I already knew."
She lets go of me the moment Calum catches me staring.
I walk away without giving him another look and Charlie follows me.
"Lana, do you really don't care?" She asks while we walk to my locker.
"Nope. He and his gang can fuck off."
I grab my books out my locker and close it.
The moment I turn around, Calum stands behind me.
"That's not so nice to say..."