Kill Me

Gang member

"I-.... I'm yours..."

I close the door behind me. Dylan didn't threatened me, he was just afraid that I would get feelings for Calum. You have feelings for Calum, a voice in my head says. The only thing that's bothering me is that Dylan is so protective Now. He needs to know something. I mean, that would also explain why he got beat up. I sigh. I can't. Not to my gang, not to Dylan. But to be honest, I don't like Dylan the way I like Calum. I walk to my room and close the door behind me. On the desk I see a pack of tampons. What? I think for a second and then I remember that I asked Calum to get those. He did that for me? Awh.. That's so sweet. A smile cracks on my face while I grab the package and put it where the rest of my period needing things, like a lot of chocolate and a lot of movies, are standing. I'm feeling guilty that I made him do that.
Wait. What?
Am I seriously feeling guilty? I never feel guilty!
I sigh again. Let's just watch how it goes. If it gets too much, I'll leave.
I should at least thank him, I think. Yeah, that would be fair.

I walk to his room. I knock on the door and walk in. When I see what's happening, I freeze. Within a second I close the door again. I run to my room and close the door behind me. I lock the door and sit on the floor. Wanna know what I saw?
Calum was doing 'stuff' with a girl and I walked in. This can't get any worse. I feel a sharp pain in my chest. I feel a sadness washing over me. Why would I be sad?
I wanna cry. Let everything out, but that's not how I was trained. I'm a rock. No feelings. Yeah.. I'm strong.


Three seconds later I burst in tears. I'm so done with this. With this assignment. With the killing. With the gangs. With everything. With Calum...
I begin to pack my stuff, but unpack everything after that.
I check my make up in the mirror and sigh.
I just grab my gun. I need to get my feelings under control. I need to shoot something. Just when I unlock my door, Calum opens it and walks in. As if he was waiting for me to unlock it.
He closes it behind him and locks it again.
"Calum, I was about to go."
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am."
"Nu-uh. You let me explain first."
"What do you wanna explain? We don't have anything with each other!"
"Would you want that?"
"What?"
"Wanting something with me."
I sigh. I don't wanna admit it, but I would want to. I want him to touch me like he touched that girl. I think for a second. Well, I can't sink any deeper anyway. Besides, had would trust me faster.
"Yes, Calum, I want that. I want you to touch me like you touched that girl. I want you to hug me and hold my hands. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I want you to.. To kiss me." It actually was mostly to take him down, but I also do like him.
"I can't."
I was totally quiet for a moment. I just confessed that I like him, and now he says that he doesn't want to.
"I can't touch you like I touched that girl because that girl was just lust. You're not. But I think I could do something with that last one." He smirks.
I almost sigh in relief.
He pulls me close and pushes his lips onto mine hungry but still soft and caring. As if he's afraid that he'll hurt me. I grab the sides of his face and go through his hair. He groans in my mouth. I smirk and go with my tongue over his lips. He notices that he's loosing control, so he pushes me onto the bed. He jumps on top of me and kisses me roughly. Normally I would tell anyone to be a little easy, but with him, I kinda like it. It suits him.
He takes off his shirt, revealing his abs. I bite my lip. He smirks and takes my shirt off too. The rest of our clothes follow quickly.
"Calum, what if someone comes in?" I ask. I knew the door was locked, but I just don't like not being in charge.
"The door's locked." He remembers.
He leaves a trail of kisses on my jaw and neck. When he finds my sweet spot, he sucks a little on it. I moan softly while he bites softly. He chuckles, knowing he has me turned on. His fingers send shivers down my spine while he moves them to my clit.
"Damn, you're dripping." He smirks.
I just mumble a little, wanting him to go on.
He slowly dips one finger in me. Too slow.
"Calum.." I whine.
"What?" He asks casually.
"You know what I mean."
"Tell. What do you want?" He begins to move faster while he adds a finger.
I just moan louder.
"Tell me." He says louder.
"Tell me!" He moves even faster and deeper that I gasp for oxygen.
"C'mon baby girl. Tell me."
"Fuck me." I bring out as my body begins to shake. He kisses me while my orgasm runs through my veins. When he knows that I'm done, he sucks his fingers and then licks me clean. He was about to position himself in front of my entrance when we hear Michael yell.
"Calum! Where the hell are you?!"
"I'm busy." He yells back while he turns to me again.
"Calum! Come down.. It's important!"
He sighs and looks at me.
I nod my head that I don't mind it too much. He gets off me and helps me up. He dresses himself while I search for my underwear. When he's done, I'm still in my underwear. He casually slaps my butt and I turn around to him. He smirks and then walks out.

I dress myself too and walk downstairs. I hear the guys talk with each other. I don't know if I can just walk in, so I knock first. Then I slowly open the door and walk in. Calum's whole gang is here. Ash, Luke and Mike of course, but also others.
"Lana, I think you need to leave again. Gang stuff." Mike says.
I nod my head in understanding and turn around to walk away but Calum grabs my hand.
"She's a gang member now. She may stay." He says while he sits down again and pulls me with him on his lap. I smile at him while he kisses me softly. I kiss him back. In shock I pull back. I actually meant it this time.
"What? Somethings wrong?" He asks.
I look into his eyes and smile.
"Right now, nothing's wrong." I bite my lip. I actually meant this. I really like him. He's different than I've been told my whole life.
I kiss him again and he smiles. He pulls back and looks at Luke.
"Continue." Calum says.
"So, as I was saying. I think we should try to get more weapons to take Dean down.." He looks at me for a second. Everyone does.
"Maybe Lana knows something about them that could help us." He adds.
Everyone waits for me to talk. Even Calum.
"Well, I don't know..." I begin.
"C'mon, you need to know something."
"Yeah, I know stuff but..."
"Tell us."
"Just listen to me..."
"You are a member of our gang now, you need to-.."
"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH AND LISTEN TO ME YOU ASS." I yell while I stand up.
He looks at me. I'm getting angry. But then I sigh.
"I can't tell you." I look to the ground.
"Why not?"
Also Calum looks confused.
"If I do, Dean's gang will go down. That means they will be dead.."
"That's the goal."
"No, you don't get it. As much as I want Dean dead, I can't take his whole gang down. The rest didn't do anything. I just can't. They're still my friends. Charlie and Emily even tried to convince Dean that I should stay." I sigh. I see all their faces, full of disbelief.
"I'm sorry." I lift my shoulder helpless. Calum stands up to and lays his hand on my shoulder. I shake it off. He doesn't try to put it on my shoulder again. He just looks at me with a worried look. I turn around to him and he lifts up my chin, making me look him in the eyes. They are searching for an explanation.
"I'm sorry." I whisper to him.
I run out of the room. Out of the house. Tears begin to stream down my face. I just can't. I can't take Calum down... Not now I have feelings for him.