Kill Me

I don't wanna go

"Fine, I'll stay."...

I lay next to him and after a while I can hear him sleep. I smile and go to sleep too.



~the next morning~


I wake up as I realize where I am. I smile, I actually feel complete. That's weird. I mean, this isn't even my gang. I look up to Calum and see him turning around. I try to avoid him but it's too late. He's on top of me.
Oh no.
"Oh god.." I groan as I try to push him off.
Bruh, he's heavy.


I put my hands on his chest and push him off. I accidentally push a little too hard and he lands next to the bed.
I hear him groan as I look over the bed.
"Calum, I'm so sorry.." I try not to laugh.
"Yeah, I'm sure you are." He grumbles as he stands up.
"No, I mean it. I didn't push you off on purpose."
"Yeah, sure."
"I mean it!"
"UhUh."
"You were laying on top of me. I had no choice! So I pushed you off me but you rolled out of the bed."
He walks out without saying another word but comes in a second later. He kisses me and then says.
"Good morning babe."
He turns around and walks away again.


I smile and get out of bed too. Is it weird to say that I actually feel home? It's gonna be hard to kill them all later. I don't even wanna kill them anymore. It's much more relaxed here than with Dean.


I walk to the living room and sit down on the couch. I watch how Calum does his daily stuff and find myself thinking about how it would be if I was a real gang member from this. It wouldn't be that bad. Actually, it would be more fun than now.
Yeah.. It would be fun..
When I think that I'll need to go back soon, I get a little cold. I don't wanna go back at all...
I wanna stay.


I begin to breath a little heavier. I can't want this. No, Deans gang is fine. Yeah, I don't need Calum.


Who the hell am I kidding? I already know I have feelings for him, and now I don't wanna leave anymore.
"Are you okay?" Calum asks while he kneels in front of me.
"Yeah.. I'm fine." I say while I smile.
I really don't wanna leave.
I sigh.
"What's wrong?" He asks while he sits next to me.
"Nothing." I say while I grab his hand.
He smiles and I kiss him.
"Im fine Calum, go on with what you're doing." I smile after I broke the kiss.
"Okay."
He stands up and begins to work again.


After an hour I'm too bored. I walk to the basement, find Calum and look at what he's doing: working on some guns.
Seems fun.
"Can I help?" I ask while I sit next to him.
"Nahh, I'm just messing around."
"Well, is there something I could do?"
"I dunno. You could check out some guns. Check if you can make them."
"Okay."


I walk to the table and grab a gun. Nice. It's a big one. I smile and walk back to Calum. I sit down next to Calum again and begin to work.
"Watch out where you point that thing at. We don't want it to fire." He warns.
"Oh please, this thing isn't even loaded."
He grabs it and pulls out around 7 bullets. He lifts his eyebrows.
"Okay, maybe it was..." I say.
I sigh and take over the gun again.
"See? Always listen to me." He smirks.
"Sure."


Calum and I work on those guns the whole afternoon. After he hears my stomach grumble he asks
"Hungry?"
I nod my head and smile.
"Pizza?" He asks.
"Look, you know how to make me happy." I smirk.
He stands up and I follow his example. We walk out of the basement and Calum orders some pizzas.


"What do you want?" He asks.
"Ham and pineapple." I reply.
He orders them and we wait until they arrive.
After they arrived, he pays the pizza guy.
We ate our pizza in silence.


I'm just going to make it as long as possible. So I can stay here as long as possible. Maybe if I just tell him the truth? Maybe he'll understand

.
Of course he wouldn't. Don't be so stupid, the voice in my head says.
I sigh. It's right. He would never understand or be okay with it. But I need to tell him tho. Even if he'll hate me, he deserves to know the truth.


"Calum?" I ask while I finish my last pizza slice.
"Yeah?"
"I gotta tell ya something..."