The sensation which first prodded Seven back towards consciousness was the light pressure of fingers against her throat. She knew they belonged to the Doctor even before she forced her strangely heavy lids open and read his gently concerned, pensive expression as he peered down at her. Touch was the one of the only things which still marked out Voyager’s Chief Medical Officer as a hologram; his touch radiated neither comforting warmth nor refreshing coolness. This fact had always given Seven an irrational, but instinctive feeling of unease, despite her inner logic asserting that it was ludicrous to expect body temperature from an, albeit superbly sophisticated, projection. In her present state of confusion and pain however, she couldn’t suppress that instinctive urge to flinch away from him slightly as she asked hoarsely, “What happened?”
The Doctor gave her a small smile. “You gave the Commander and I quite a scare…” He started carefully but she cut him off, her own face heating up from remembered passion and present shame.
“The Commander?” she asked sharply, almost fearfully before somehow managing to recollect herself, her spine stiffening as she sat up abruptly in the biobed. “I fail to see why an…apparent malfunction in my cybernetic systems would frighten the Commander.” She stated with cool dignity.
The Doctor inhaled incredulously before meeting her frozen gaze head on. “I think witnessing a cardiac arrest would frighten anyone, even someone as disciplined as Commander Chakotay.”
Seven’s gut clenched into a spasm of fear. “Car…Cardiac arrest?” she echoed in a shaky whisper before her voice was strengthened by disbelief, “That’s impossible, I haven’t suffered any ill health. My last maintenance check with you was normal…”
“Yes, it was.” The Doctor answered levelly, “But I have reason to believe that the cause of your medical crisis is somewhat…insidious, triggered by recent events.” He saw Seven’s face clam up instantly, an impenetrable mask of hauteur, and sighed, deciding to tackle the easiest bit of this dilemma first, the cold hard medical facts. “Have you been experiencing headaches recently?” he asked pointedly.
Seven relaxed a little as she pondered the question, relieved he wasn’t going to interrogate her about Chakotay. “I suffered headaches intermittently while I was on Quarra.” She admitted, “I presumed the problem stemmed from Dr Kadan’s actions.”
The Doctor grimaced, avoiding her gaze as he gave her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “No, I don’t believe so Seven.” He murmured softly, “This problem has to do with a very specific part of your cortical node…” He stopped, his courage momentarily leaving him as all the possible scenarios that had run through his head as to her reaction assaulted his brain at once.
Seven forced herself to take a deep breath to still the fears welling within her. I’ve faced a deadly malfunction before; she told herself stubbornly as she quirked an eyebrow at the Doctor, irritated by his silence. “Which component of my cortical node is malfunctioning?”
The Doctor gripped his tricorder hard as he replied tersely, “That’s just it Seven, it wasn’t malfunctioning. From what I can tell it was working exactly within its program parameters, to stop drones, if their link with the Collective was ever severed, from achieving certain levels of…emotional stimulation.” He sighed as Seven stared at him uncomprehendingly, “In effect, it’s a fail-safe device.”
Seven’s gaze had become distant, unfocused, and when she spoke her voice was monotone. “If the link with the Collective was ever severed, I suppose they wanted drones to deactivate if they became hysterical, over-stimulated…” Her throat constricted as her Borg logic fell away and disbelief set in. “But if I had such a fail-safe, I would be dead by now! I’ve experienced countless emotions in the four years since I was freed from the Collective…” Despite this argument, Seven felt her chest tightening in panic as the Doctor’s expression saddened.
“I know that.” He conceded gently, “But it would seem that this fail-safe focuses on…romantic feelings. Everything came to a head when you were with alone with Chakotay…”
“The two circumstances are not necessarily related!” Seven snapped, tears of violation filling her eyes as blood rushed to her face under his knowing gaze.
“Seven…” He started with a sigh, “I know this situation hasn’t been the gentlest of introductions, but feelings of attraction and attachment are the most natural forms of emotion in life, essential in fact. You’ve come so far, to love is to be a true individual.” He assured her, deciding to persevere even as she flinched back from him in denial. “That’s probably why the Borg decided to suppress it in this way but I believe that a few delicate operations, maybe even one, could remove this fail-safe and leave you free to…”
Seven cut him off with a hoarse whisper, her eyes glassy but hard. “And what if I don’t wish its removal?”
The Doctor’s jaw slackened in shock. “What?” he asked dumbly before striving to recover. “All operations have their risks Seven, but I believe those would be minimal in comparison with what you would gain…”
Gain? Seven mentally echoed, what would she gain from this? If all of her emotions had been dulled by this device, what would happen when it was gone? Would fear become debilitating, anger raging, grief overwhelming? Her heart drew back from the thought like it was a burning flame and before she knew it a single, cruelly definite word had slid from her lips, “No.”
“What do you mean “no”?” The Doctor asked incredulously, his hand squeezing her arm until it hurt.
She lifted her head to parity with his, her gaze uncompromising. “I mean that I do not wish to have the fail-safe removed.”
The Doctor gave a choked gasp of “Seven!” before frustration rose up within him. “Seven, surely you know by now that the Collective denying you something doesn’t mean it’s bad!” He exclaimed angrily only to have her twist away, forcing him to try a different tact. “What about your relationship with Chakotay? Are you really willing to let him go just because of some perverted sense of Borg pride?”
Seven had let his other exclamations wash over her, but she couldn’t shut this one out entirely. A sudden sense of loss brought a lump to her throat she had to push her reply over, “I…I never had him. The incident on Quarra must’ve confused him, made him forget what I am…”
The Doctor snorted as he remembered Chakotay’s bereft expression. “Seven, maybe you can stop yourself from seeing the truth in him but I saw for myself, don’t give your fear an excuse.”
“It’s not an excuse! It will hurt us both less if I stop this now before…” Seven snapped tearfully, heading for the doorway.
“Before he can hurt you?” The Doctor asked quietly, causing her to freeze in her tracks. “It’s too late to go back to the status quo Seven, either way you owe him some sort explanation. If you don’t give him one then you’re not the woman he thinks you are.”
Seven’s head turned sharply, a light dying in her eyes like a cornered animal before she fled Sickbay altogether.
The walk from Sickbay to his quarters was much longer and more arduous than she remembered. Her heart was racing and the corridor wavered in front of her as she pushed her unyielding limbs forward, clenching the muscles in a futile attempt to stop them shaking. She reasoned to herself that these were all side effects of being clinically dead only an hour before, but that brought her no comfort as she came to a stop at the door and rang the bell a single time.
A/n: I’m sorry this is a day late, I did start it yesterday but this chapter was more draining to write than I thought it would be! I was going to try to finish the story in one mammoth last chapter but I decided to split it up. PLEASE REVIEW! :D
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Star Trek Voyager: Fragments
FanfictionWhat if, during "Workforce", not only Tuvok but also Seven and Chakotay, retained fragmented memories of their real lives? C/7 and a little Janeway/Jaffen and P/T in later chapters.
