The Second Time Around (The Starving Squad #1)

Chapter 34: Fall Apart

Nagising si Fresia dahil sa likot ng katabi niya. She was having a wonderful dream when she felt Bullet's elbow. Muntik pa siyang malaglag sa kama. Inis siyang bumangon at binuksan ang ilaw sa tabi niya. Pinag-iisipan niya kung gigisingin ito at pagagalitan o sisipain sa kama nang mapansin niya kung ano ang nangyayari.

Bigla siyang nanlamig nang makitang sinasakal nito ang sariling leeg.

"Bullet!" Sinubukan niyang tanggalin ang mga kamay nito mula sa pagkakasakal sa leeg nito pero masyadong mahigpit ang pagkakakapit nito. He was already turning blue.

He was having one of his nightmares and she's guessing that this is the worst one. He wasn't hurting himself before. In her desperate attempt to wake him up, she got on top of him and slapped him as hard as she could. Nang bumalikwas ito nang bangon ay kumapit siya sa balikat nito para hindi siya malaglag.

He was shaking. He looked afraid. And she wanted so badly to make his nightmares go away but she doesn't know how. Did she cause this? Siya ba ang dahilan kung bakit ito binangungot? Magkatabi na silang matulog pero bakit... bakit may ganito pa rin? Tuluyan na bang nawala ang epekto niya rito?

Hinawakan niya ito sa tigkabilang pisngi. Malikot ang mga mata nito, paikot-ikot ang tingin sa buong kwarto. "Hey... look at me," she gently spoke.

He looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time, as if realizing that this isn't a nightmare anymore, that she is real.

She made him do the breathing exercise. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Until his heart resumed its normal beat. Until he's breathing normally again.

Niyakap niya ito at hinalikan sa tuktok. "You're safe now."

--

Gusto niya itong kausapin. Gusto niyang itanong kung ano ang nasa utak nito. But Bullet was quiet. He doesn't want to talk about it. They were quiet at breakfast, which is unusual. After what happened last night, after what they shared... this isn't the aftermath that she was expecting.

Nakapanuod lamang siya habang nagkakape ito. Hindi nito ginagalaw ang pagkain sa hapag, mukhang walang gana. Maging siya ay wala ring ganang kumain dahil napakatahimik nilang dalawa.

Maya-maya ay ibinaba nito ang kape at bumuntong-hininga. Blangko ang mga mata nito nang tumingin sa dako niya.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" he asked.

Ni hindi niya alam na naninigarilyo ito. That was totally unexpected. Hindi naman sa ayaw niya sa mga taong naninigarilyo. Brandi smokes. Si Mona, minsan din. But she doesn't know that he does. He didn't even give a hint that he does. Kaya nagulat siya nang kumuha ito ng isang pakete ng sigarilyo mula sa mga gamit nito. The package was already squished, as if he had forgotten that he has those cigarettes.

Tumayo siya at binuksan ang bintana sa itaas ng lababo. Sumandal siya sa counter at pinanuod ito. He looked so stressed. Well, who wouldn't? If she had a nightmare like his, she'd be more than stressed.

"Are you going to work today?"

Kinusot nito ang mata gamit ang isang kamay at tumango. "I have to."

"Then you have to eat." She pushed the plate of food towards him. "Kahit konti lang."

Umiling ito. "Wala akong gana."

"But you have to eat." Naupo siya sa tabi nito at kinuha ang kutsara at tinidor. "Gusto mo subuan kita?"

"Wala nga akong gana!"

Bahagya siyang napalayo nang magtaas ito ng boses. "O-Okay..." Ibinaba niya ang kutsara't tinidor na hawak. "I was just trying to help."

He exhaled harshly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout."