A chance meeting with Glen

What have I done?

As I closed the door on Glen,I slid down on to the floor,not able to move.I could hear his sobs from the other side.My heart crumbled in to a million little pieces.I had to do this for him,he deserves someone who can give him everything and I can't.Since that day that I woke up in the hospital,I didn't feel like the same person,I felt lost and lonely. A darkness came over me since I discovered I had lost our baby and the chances of having any more were remote.Our hopes and dreams were shattered.So I did what was best for him and ended it because he deserves the best of everything that life has to offer.I'm not it,I'm not good enough for him.I never really was.

I could still hear him through the door,I didn't have the strength to walk down the hall,I crawled to my room.My energy was completely gone,I felt nauseous and tired,so tired.I climbed into bed and snuggled into the hoodie,the one I took when I was leaving.Glens.I eventually drifted off to sleep clinging to his scent.

I slept for days,only waking when Sarah came in with food and drinks.Nothing she could say would lift this darkness.My dreams were filled with images of him.I was happy in my dreams.

After nearly a week Sarah had enough and dragged me out of bed.she bounced into the room,opening the curtains and filling my room with daylight."Right,Missy!Enough,get up,get showered,get dressed and get on with it.You have to snap out of this Aimee,today is a brand new day,grab it it,make the most of it.You are going to fine but you have to start living again!"

I moaned and did as I was told.

I took one day at a time,getting back in to work, taking up Yoga,hanging out with friends and trying to keep myself busy.As the days and weeks went by I slowly felt I was getting back to some sort of reality.Glen often tried calling me but I never answered.He text me a lot too,telling me he loved me,he always would and that he missed me.Those were always my bad days.As much as I wanted to respond I couldn't do it.I chose this,although the more time went on,the more I realised my mistake.I think after what happened I went in to some sort of depression.I shut him out,I thought I was protecting him,But now I realise I was only being selfish and was protecting myself.If he wasn't around,I didn't have to deal with it but a small part of me still thought I was right in letting him go.

The thought of not having children with him crushed me, but it wasn't a definite no.I just didn't hear that at the time,that part didn't sink in.

I realised just how wrong I was ,when one night a few weeks later,myself and Sarah got completely wasted.The truth always comes out of me when I've had a few drinks and she knows this.

"Aim's I know you still love him,you're crazy about him,admit it!"She laughed a little before her face turned more serious. I try to look unfazed but she knows me and she know's I'm not a good liar. "Yeah, okay, I do...but it's too late,I ruined it,I fucked everything right up.It's over,I'm sure he's moved on by now."

"No he hasn't!" she shrieked. I look at her in disbelief "And how, do you know,did he tell you ?"

"Actually,yeah,he did,he's always texting me,telling me to take care of you,that he loves you,he'll always love YOU! You know this ,he's told me he's tried calling and texting but you won't answer,you two belong together and after everything he still wants you,nobody else has ever made you that happy,why can't you see .....Glen is THE one,the only one for you??"

I can feel the tears welling up,He was,he is the only man I have truly loved and I need him back."What do I do,how do I get him back?"

"Find out where they are, go to him,surprise him,show him how much you want him back!"She smiles and says this like it is the easiest thing in the world.

"Okay!Yes....I will,I am going to do it...I need him back!I pull her in to a hug, thanks for putting up with me for so long,Sarah,you are the best friend a girl could wish for.Love ya so much"

"I'm just glad our old Aimee is back and that you have finally woken up...go get the man of your dreams"She chuckles,getting slightly emotional.

I get back to the apartment and check the script website to find out where they will be over the next few days,I know they are in the states and in two days they will be in Boston.I know where they stay when they are there.I frantically book in to the same hotel and book my flight for first thing in the morning.I am a nervous wreck,what if he has moved on?I have to find out....I have wasted enough time...I need to know if he'll give me another chance.......