Fifty Shades: Submission and Strength

Chapter 4

Wednesday finally rolled around and Christian was dying to play out the numerous fantasies he'd intricately constructed in his head over the past two days. When the big moment arrived, however, he steered clear of the hard stuff, despite Ana's high tolerance for pain. He stuck to spanking her with his hand, her round ass a glorious shade of pink, and various forms of missionary fucking.

She closes her eyes when she's in pain, and I want to see them open for me when she comes.

After another intense session, he helped her dress in some comfortable sweats despite her insistence that she was capable of clothing herself.

"We have two more hours before you need to go home. Let's grab some food," Christian suggested, the stress of the last two days having dissipated. "I'm famished."

"Thank you Sir but I'm not very hungry."

"You've had a strenuous workout. I insist," he casually dismissed her, leading her to the kitchen.

She pulled her arm back, taking him by surprise. "Sir, as we concluded during our negotiations, while I respect your rules about eating, I made it clear that I will keep my own eating schedule. I do not have a huge appetite and only eat when I'm hungry. But I can assure you that I've had a full three meals today."

Christian's eyes blazed with fury, but Ana remained steadfast. I stick to the letter of the contract. It's my creed and my safety net Grey — and don't think that I won't put you in your place when you deviate from it.

"Fine," Christian huffed like a deprived adolescent. "Then you can please me while I eat."

He stormed into the kitchen to grab the sandwich Gail had made earlier, unceremoniously plunked it down on the dining room table, unzipped his pants and sat down. "You know what to do. On your knees."

Ana succumbed, crawling under the table to suck him off while he nonchalantly ate his food and even took a phone call, though his voice was clearly strained. When he forced her head down, she gagged but swallowed all he had to give her. She remained crouched under the table while Christian threw his fork down with a loud clang. He felt temporary relief but his anger was now redirected — at himself. He had intentionally demeaned her, and they both knew it.

"Please rise Anastasia," he said, suddenly contrite. "Did I hurt you? Please tell me if I did and I won't do it again."

She shook her head but kept her eyes downcast.

"Would you like a bath?" he offered, shame churning his gut. He'd lost his appetite as well.

"No Sir. I should get going. I have an early class."

Christian expelled a frustrated sigh. Good job Grey! Now you've scared her off. Asshole.

"Please Ana," he pleaded. "You mentioned that you would be bathing here since it was easier. Please relax. Don't go home yet. I'd rather you didn't." His vulnerability stunned him, and her.

"Alright," she relented, albeit with great reluctance. She had two papers to finish back home. "I won't be long Sir."

He screeched his chair back and instantly rose to follow her to her room, leaving her confused. "I can join you," he offered politely. Ana gawked at him.

What? That's way too intimate. What is this guy's deal? Elena said he was sex God — which he is — and standoffish, which he isn't. I'm not getting in a bath with a guy who has a massive complex about touch. That's just begging for a beating.

Christian saw her perplexed expression and knew he'd overstepped his mark, yet again.

"I mean I can wash you. Only with your permission of course," he clarified. "I did it with all of my submissives. It was a healthy way of bonding after a scene." Not really, but whatever bullshit works to get me in that bathroom with her.

Ana was exhausted, mentally and physically. "That would be nice," she said, without conviction.

As she stripped, Christian filled the large bath with lavender-scented bubbles, constantly checking the temperature while willing himself not to stare at Ana's nude body.

He helped her inside and began lathering up the loofa to wash her, reveling in her creamy skin with each stroke. His touch was calming and Ana found herself almost lulled to sleep.

"Is that nice?" he asked, brushing a stray curl out of her eye.

"Yes, thank you Sir." Christian frowned. This Sir shit is really grating on my nerves. It's like she's on automatic pilot.

"Anastasia, you have been a picture-perfect sub, and I apologize if my actions earlier offended you in any way," he blurted out, still preoccupied by the notion that she was upset with him.

It did, but Ana was indifferent. He's a Dom. Being a possessive asshole is a prerequisite for the job.

"I'm fine Sir. Not much bothers me."

"I see that. You have a high pain threshold," he observed, studying her reaction closely.

She merely nodded.

"Why? What is about pain that turns you on? What attracted you to this lifestyle?" Christian continued to tenderly massage her skin, hoping his soothing ministrations would distract her from his intrusiveness.

She remained stubbornly silent. Oh jeez, here he goes with the questions again. Ana refrained from rolling her eyes. She didn't have time for another spanking.

"For me, it is about order and control," Christian offered, hoping she would meet him halfway. "I had a difficult childhood and today, in the corporate world, control is how operate."

Ana was surprised he volunteered that tidbit of information, but she wasn't about to commiserate about shitty childhoods.

"For me it fills a void. I can enjoy physical intimacy but remain emotionally detached," she revealed. "Women, after all, have needs too."

Christian winced. Detached? Is that how she would describe our time together?

Ana mistook his disappointment for disapproval and quickly backtracked. "What I mean is that BDSM keeps life simple for me. I'm not good at conventional relationships. This allows me the distance that I need, and I find it liberating to hand the decisions over to someone else, at least in this area of my life."

Ana subconsciously began to cover up her chest as Christian gaped at her. He finally wrung out the loofa sponge and placed it on the side of the tub, rubbing his face. He couldn't resist one last question.

"Have you ever had a conventional relationship?"

"No." Her arms were now firmly crossed over her chest as she eyed him expectantly.

"Neither have I," he confessed, gazing at her with such intensity that she shivered. "Which is why I've been bombarding you for information. I only want to ensure that I please you."

Ana looked back at him with astonishment. "But my sole purpose is to please you." That's kind of the whole point of this arrangement dude.

"Yes, but are you happy Anastasia?" he persisted.

"I'm content," she said, breaking eye contact and effectively ending the conversation.

Christian sighed, dejected. That's not the same thing and she knows it.

"Fair enough. I'll let you finish up. I'll wait for you outside to escort you out," he said as he left the bathroom.