fragments

Stay

We reached part 30. Damn.

Anyways, i'm so sorry for slacking on updates lately! I've been on a block and awfully stressed because i start school tomorrow and just generally a bunch of nerves.

Ily, sorry for the wait<3

Blue/Troye Sivan.

Blue.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was blue.

Blue like the ocean, blue like the sky, blue like the wall of my room back home,blue like his eyes that I missed so terribly.

Blue.

"Please stay." was all I managed to croak out, my body still weak and my throat hoarse.

I felt a gentle squeeze to my hand and then the familiar blue was gone and all I could see was pitch black. I was gone.

****
I couldn't guess how long I was gone for even if I tried.

To me, it felt like days or sometimes full weeks but I didn't know.

Leaving was easy, it was my body's natural response to the pain I was in, but coming back was harder and it drained me.

I tried to stay awake for him for as long as I could but every time my eyes got heavy and my breathing slowed down and I was off again, to a world of darkness.

What he didn't know though was that I could still hear him.

I couldn't move, or speak and heck sometimes I felt like I could hardly breathe but I could hear.

I heard him as he talked to me, begged me stay with him for a little more with tears evident in his voice and all I wanted was to be able to comfort him, to stay with him.

I heard him when he rambled on and on about his day, his little chuckles brightening my day.

I heard him when he blamed himself for the accident, choking up while he apologized again and again and how loud sobs escaped him while he battled with himself.

I heard him and all I wanted to do was tell him it was okay, that it wasn't his fault, that at some point I would wake up for him. That I was trying.

I heard him and oh god some times I wish I didn't.

So I heard him now too, as he begged the doctor to make me wake up again and held my hand tightly in his, the same plea coming out of his mouth like a litany.

"Please please please please please."

Another voice boomed in the room, one I've learned to recognize as my doctor's.

"Mr. Hoying, you have to understand that he won't wake up that easily. Car accidents like yours are always harder on the passenger and you should be glad Mr. Grassi is even alive-"

"NO. You don't understand. He woke up today! He talked to me, you saw it! He's trying, he just needs a little push just a little and.."

The doctor audibly sighed and I could already see Scott's face in my mind, the purse of his lips and the small glare.

"We're doing our best kid, I'm sorry."

The door closed and Scott clutched my hand again while muttering a small "asshole".

And then the first sob came.
And the second, and the third.

I could practically hear his heart breaking as he broke down next to me and all I could do was listen.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. If only I was a little more careful, if only I've seen the truck you wouldn't be here I'm-" his voice broke and his breathing got faster as he grieved, letting the sentence get cut.

All that my mind could focus on was his name, as I tried to say it again and again until I heard another voice saying it, hoarse and no more than a whisper.

I only realized it was mine when I heard him leap from the chair and towards me.

"MITCH."

I fought with every small ounce of energy in my body and then I could see blue again.

Blue and gold and white all blended together in the most beautiful painting as he smiled at me, the path his tears left still evident on his face.

"Hi."

My voice sounded foreign to my own ears and I hated it but it seemed to relax him since his shoulders rolled back slightly.

I didn't get a reply, instead his lips where everywhere they could reach, from my face to my hands to knuckles and when he kissed my mouth the kiss was salty from his tears.

And then he was getting pulled off me and I was swarmed by nurses but I could still feel his lips on my skin.

I was back to him and that was all that mattered.

*****

This is shitty i'm sorry.