Shirley (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 25: The Last Goodbye

Makulimlim ang panahon on the day of the burial.

Sinundo ko si Liz at sa akin siya sumabay samantalang si Renee naman ang nagmaneho ng van kasama si yaya at si Robbie.

Tahimik si Liz during the entire trip at hinayaan ko lang siya.

She's grieving and sometimes, silence is all you need.

Ako din naman ay iniisip ang nangyari sa bahay pagkatapos umalis ni Ate Joan at Trish papunta sa Palawan.

Kinausap ako ni Mommy.

Nagliligpit ako ng mga gamit sa kuwarto ko.

Habang tinutupi ko ang mga damit ko, hindi ko mapigilan ang maluha.

I grew up in this house and all my precious memories are in this place.

Malungkot ako dahil sa kailangan kong umalis hindi dahil sa gusto ko kundi dahil iyon ang hinihingi ng pagkakataon.

There are other options pero hindi ko naman gusto ang choice na binigay sa amin nina Mommy.

Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na I have to talk to my parents again.

Baka pwede ko silang kumbinsihin to reconsider.

I understand what they feel dahil ganoon din naman ang naramdaman ko when I learned that I was falling in love with Liz.

Natakot ako, naguluhan.

I was overwhelmed with thoughts and afraid of what my family would say.

Paano kung hindi nila maintindihan?

Anong gagawin ko if my family rejected me?

To whom can I go for help?

Where do I find shelter?

My family was supposed to be the people I can go to pero hindi naman iyon ang nangyari.

At the time, I felt that being with Liz was worse than going to Taiwan with Ryan.

For sure my family would never say those things to me.

On the contrary, baka nga encouragement pa ang makuha ko from them.

They would probably say that I was doing the right thing by leaving my work and going with Ryan.

Pero hindi iyon ang naramdaman ko the first time he offered to go with him.

Kahit mahal ko siya, I wasn't convinced that it was the right thing to do.

Dahil noon, I hated taking chances.

I am the opposite of what I am now.

Hindi ko akalain na I am taking more risks by loving someone of the same sex.

Ang daming hurdles na kailangang i-overcome most notably the one at home.

When I found out about what's going on between Ate Joan and Trish, I was surprised but I admired her courage.

She stood up for her fiancée.

Alam ni ate ang gusto niya but she wasn't being selfish about it.

Nakita ko ang honesty kay ate and it was inspiring.

She wanted to live an authentic life.

She wanted to be true to herself and to Trish.

When they left for Palawan, she said goodbye to my parents.

Nakita ko siyang lumabas sa kuwarto ni Mommy at Daddy but this time, there were no more tears.

Nagpaalam siya sa akin and she promised that we'd get together as soon as makabalik sila from their trip.