Jace

{32}

"Liam!" Madison came out of the bus just minutes after Jace's car left. "What are you doing? It's pouring our here! You're going to get sick!"

She was wearing a bright red raincoat with black rain boots and held an umbrella over her hood covered head. I sobbed and screamed as loud and as hard as I could. She hurried over and pulled me up, slinging one of my wet arms over her shoulders. Holding the umbrella over me as well and talking softly, she walked me inside the hotel slowly.

"Jace wasn't in the bus," she said as we entered the lobby. The rain had driven away the fans but the hotel staff and older guests were still milling about. At the sound of her name I lost it.

"JACE!!" I screamed, tearing from Madison and running toward the door. I stumbled to a stop before I got there. Not because I found some sense, but because my heart hurt to much to take another step. I buried my face in my hands and my knees gave out, pulling me to the floor in a heap. Tears streamed down my face and I shook with my cries.

"Liam!" Madison shouted, closing the umbrella and rushing toward me. "What's the matter with you? We're going to find Jace. Ok? She's probably just messing around somewhere." She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I threw it off. "DON'T TOUCH ME! SHE'S GONE!! JACE IS GONE GOD DAMMIT!"

The people in the lobby stared and held their mouth agape. Madison stumbled back. She looked around, embarrassed by my behavior.

"You're being ridiculous! I'm going to go get the boys and were going to get you upstairs and you'll be the first to see Jace when she comes back."

She ditched the elevator and raced up the stairs, leaving me on the floor.

Soon, Paul came with the rest of the boys and the two dancers following him.

"Liam relax," Harry said. "Jace didn't run away or something."

If only he knew how wrong he was... Paul pulled me up with my arm around his shoulders. "I know," he whispered. "I know Liam.. It's ok. At least you got to say goodbye."

His words didn't register and, still being to heartbroken to walk myself, he helped me upstairs and into my room. I was sat on the bed where I was toweled off by Katherine and Madison. I had cried my throat hoarse. I let tears roll silently down my face.

"Everybody," Paul called for our attention, motioning for everyone else to sit with a solemn expression. "Jace will no longer be dancing with us for the remainder of the tour."

"What?" Katherine said. Confused expressions were passed around as they soaked in the news I already knew. But how did Paul know?

"Jace was forced to return home for personal reasons. For the remaining shows, just the two of you will be dancing."

"Liam..." Madison whispered. "I'm so sorry. That's why you were so upset I- I didn't know-" She cut herself off.

Harry was next to throw up an apology that I didn't care about. I wanted my Jacelyn back. That's the only thing I cared about. "She actually did run away... I'm so so sorry Li I was just kidding. I thought she was just in the building somewhere."

"Liam," Paul said softly, pulling something from the TV stand. It was a DVD in a flimsy paper cover with the word 'LIAM<3 EVERYTHING I COULD NEVER TELL YOU' written on it. "She left this for you..."

He had the room cleared out for me and put in the DVD

"Did you know?"

My question caught him off guard and his hand hovered over the play button. It drew back.

"Paul, did you know Jace was going to leave?" I said more sternly. He looked down, avoiding my eye.

"I found her packing at dinner..." He admitted. "She told me what was going on and begged me not to tell you." I turned away from him, angered nobody wanted to tell me the girl I loved was going to leave. He raised his voice the more I turned away. "Liam she never meant to hurt you!"

"So she thought abandoning me was better!?!"

After a pause where he exhaled loudly and guiltily, he spoke softer. "She was panicking... She wasn't thinking."

"Did you help her?" My voice was low, but strangled in a cross between struggling not to cry or scream.

He delayed even more on answering that question and I ended up turning around to stare him down. "She asked me to distract you boys after dinner so she could get everything in the car. The dance ended earlier than I thought it would and when you noticed she was gone I panicked and tried to keep you in here as long as I could."

I didn't look at him. He knew how I felt about her. He knew yet he helped her get away. Why?

"Liam please...just watch the DVD. She said it was really important that you watch it." He bent down, pressed play, and left.

I tried my best to ignore the blue streaks and platinum blonde hair I saw out of the corner of my eye and the noise she made when she tripped over the rug trying to sit down on the couch. But I couldn't. I sat down on the bed and soaked up as much of her features as I could.

"Hi Liam!" She gave a small wave and shoved her hands in between her tightly pressed together thighs. "Um, I'm sorry. That's what I want to say first. I'm sorry for a lot that I did to you. I'm sorry for not saying yes when you asked me out. For sleeping with you when I got really drunk. For messing up things between you and Madison, for always getting into petty fights with you, for letting Parker almost tazer you and leaving you with Jackson when he got stuck on the fan. I'm sorry for almost drowning Louis in the ocean, for nearly making you internally bleed when I jumped on you to wake you up, I'm sorry for falling asleep on stage and having that pregnancy scare for you. But what I'm really sorry for, I haven't even done yet." She paused an looked down at her lap. When she looked back up there were tears in her eyes. "I have to leave Liam. I'll be gone by the time you see this. There are so many things I wish I could tell you right now," she swiped her index finger under her eyes and sniffled with a laugh. "I love you. I do. Congratulations, you made me fall in love with you like I swore I wouldn't. I have never met someone as sweet as you. You're my best friend." She shrugged and let the tears flow down her cheeks, giving up at wiping them away. "I don't understand how you put up with me, laugh at every single one of my lame jokes, or how you managed to make me love you, but then again I don't understand how Zayn hits those high notes that I can't even do." I chuckled through my fresh wave of tears. "But you did all those things. And there's no way I'll ever stop feeling the way I do about you. Maybe someday when we're old and wrinkled we'll run into each other in a nursing home but for now... I'm so sorry Liam. I guess this is goodbye." She blew a kiss to the camera amidst her tears and then stood and turned it off.

So she loved me back. But I couldn't have her anymore.