Another day persisted on rising. I hadn't left in the house in days, and Jack hadn't even texted me. I missed Jack. I missed that sence of fireworks when he kissed me, that feeling of security when he hugged me, when I would get random 'I love you' texts. I just wanted him back. I felt so ashamed of myself. I slept with someone else, and now I've lost the love of my life. I slowly wake up, and still find myself in a ball on the sofa. The room was barely lit, and I was encased in darkness. My fear of the dark had been pushed back into the deepest depth of my mind. I uncoiled myself and sat up. I covered my face in my hands, and soon the tears began to fall. I'd been crying for days, not being able to get Jacks heartbroken face out of my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, that moment would replay in my mind.
"Jack...I miss you....I love you....Please come back" I whisper. I get up off the sofa and flick the light on. The light blankets the room, but I still feel encased in darkness. Not knowing which way my life will lead me next. I slowly walk to the bathroom and lock myself in. I stare into the mirror, and I hated what I saw. I saw a woman who destroyed her marriage and lost the one she was destined for now it was gone. I couldn't stand the sight anymore, I let out a scream and punched the mirror, causing several cuts to form on my knuckles and hands. I held my hand lightly, knowing that I deserved the pain I was feeling. I leant against the door and slid down so I was sat on the floor, I looked up at the now broken mirror, and then glanced down at my hand. Blood was pouring out, and I stared and stared at the hot red liquid escaping my skin. The pain was like burning, and the blood irriated it, making the pain more intense. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. This is whats happened. This is how I've decided to steer my life. In a direction of misery and loneliness. I escaped the bathroom, and went to find my phone, with the hope I would have a message from Jack, or any indication that that he was okay. Nothing, but messages from Dan. He had been trying to get a hold of me for days, but like myself, I couldn't stand him. I tried to remember the last kiss with Jack. His soft lips, the pressure, the love behind them.....Now it was all gone. I bury my face in my hands and don't even notice that someone is here.
"Hey" they whisper. I slowly look up to Finn, stood in the door way of the living room. I can see Jacks face in his, and it hurts. I don't respond and he sits beside me.
"Your bleeding" He takes ahold of my hand, but I quickly pull it away and hide it. "What happened?"
"I punched a mirror" I whispered. He looked confused, but at the same time I think he knew why. He left, and returned promptly with a bowl of hot water, bandages, and a cloth.
"Give me your hand" I looked into his eyes, he was serious. Reluctantly, I held out my hand as he cleaned off the blood. The heat seared through my skin, and I hissed in pain. Once the blood was washed off, Finn bandaged up my hand. I bring my hand back when he's done, and allow a small smile to appear, but it immediately disappeared. "Thanks" I looked at Finn, but all I saw the the reflection of his brother in his face. "Finn...What have I done?" I whisper.
"You tell me"
"It was a huge mistake! The worst mistake I have ever made in my life. I miss Jack so so much. I love him. I need him. Now I'm scared I've lost him"
"Do you know how many times he thought he lost you? When Mel kissed him, when you wouldn't speak to him for weeks, when Lewis shot you. This guy has gone through hell for you"
"I know, and I feel terrible..."
"What, and he's not?! You think he's sat in my flat, dancing about?! He has sat in the living room for days crying non stop! He misses you more than you can imagine!" He takes a short break to look me in the eyes, as he does this he is trying to send the intensity through our eyes. It worked. I felt even more terrible than I already do. "He loved you, he would have done anything for you! And this is how you repay him?! I hope your pleased with your self." He stands up and walks to the other side of the room. I couldn't have Finn think I was proud and happy of what I've done. So I stand up with tears already in my eyes.
