"Okay, Mrs. Harries. I want you to close your eyes and tell me what you see" My therapist told me. It was 9 am the next morning, and I was alone in this dark empty room. I close my eyes.
"I'm in the middle of a field"
"Is your Husband with you?"
"Yes" Jack appears from nowhere. I run to him, but he pushes me away. He punches me in the face.
"He's hurting me!" I shout. "Your a fucking worthless piece of shit. I wish I had stayed with Mel when I kissed her. And you know what I did kiss back, and I love it." He whispered to me. "NO! JACK STOP!"
"Mrs. Harries, what is he saying?"
"He's lying to me!" "Why don't you stay with Lewis, niether of you deserve happiness. You two belong together" Lewis appears and grabs my hand.
"Come along honey" He says dragging me away.
"NO! GET OFF OF ME!"
"Whats happening?"
"It's Lewis, He has me. He won't let go. He's hurting me!" I yell.
"Mrs. Harries, calm down and open your eyes" My eyes shoot open, and I am back in that small room. I begin shaking and gripping the chair below me. I my breathing starts to become more frequent. I grasp the chair tighter, and try to relax. "Mrs. Harries. Please calm down. Do you want to tea?" He asked. My therapist, was a middle aged man, who wore a black pressed suit and glasses. I nod, and he exits the room. I regulate my breathing and relax. It was just a daydream, it isn't real. He re-enters the room and hands me a mug of tea.
"Why are they telling me, I'm not good enough. Why do they keep telling me to leave Jack and go to Lewis? I dispise Lewis, and I never want to see him again"
"Did you have a previous relationship with this Lewis fellow?"
"He was my best friend from about reception. But then he started attacking Jack. He hurt me. He was obsessed with me, and he wouldn't give up until he got what he wanted"
"Tell me how he acted when he abducted you"
"He-He acted the same way, but more touchy-feely. But if I did anything or said anything that upset him, he would hurt me."
"And I understand there were multiple experiences of rape? Now I know this is a sensitive issue, and if you don't want to tell me that is perfectly fine."
"Yeah, he raped me on a daily basis" I begin crying, remembering the things I tried to block out.
"Maybe these experiences are what is triggering your brain into saying your not good enough"
"I don't understand"
"Guilt, Because you was married and you loved your husband, you were feeling guilty that you were being forced to do things you didn't want to do."
"So this whole thing I caused by guilt"
"Well, guilt is a minor factor, the majority is physological stress and trauma"
"But it can get better?"
"Yes, we can use certain techniques and methods to help you control the stress and anxiety you feel. But huge amounts of stress and fear can trigger flash backs. This is something we need to avoid."
"Thank you doctor"
"Well, it's time for my next patient. I will see you tomorrow" He smiled and I shook his hand. I walk out, and see Evan standing outside.
"Oh, Hi Evan" I smile.
"Hey, just had your private?" He smiles back. I nod. "How do you feel?"
"Abit shakey, but okay"
