State Of Mind | sm + cc

:Six:

                 When I woke up, they were laughing. They woke me up. Annoying little suckers. I wish they'd go away.

My hairy hands ran across my face in exhaustion. I can't go back to sleep anymore. I could feel the remains of stubble still left on my chin. I had forgotten to shave last night, too much went on.

A smooth pair of arms tightened around my arm. I looked over to see Camila snuggling onto my right arm. She looked peaceful.

They were quiet now.

My lips quirked up a smile as I lightly kissed the top of her head trying not to wake her up. Her breathing was sufficient and delicate.

Light slipped through the blinds and spilled onto the ground as it filled the room. I heard it was only supposed to be sunny for the first half of the day, it'll be cloudy for the rest.

I watched as Camila's eyes fluttered open from the light. She squinted them for a moment before adjusting to the morning brightness. A small yawn left her lips before she caught me staring at her.

"Oh, sorry." I awkwardly apologized as I closed my eyes in hopes of going back to sleep. Her small yet plump lips slowly attached to mine. Tasted like a cherry pie, my favorite.

"It's alright." She whispered in a quiet mumble. Her eyes continued to flutter around until she was finally awake. She adjusted her small body closer to mine.

"Did you sleep well?" She interlaced our fingers while snuggling her head into my neck. "Yeah..." Her response was more like a yawn. I wanted to stay here, holding her, but life goes on and I can't spend all day in bed. I tried to move her off of me, but she persisted in staying attached to me.

"Don't go..." She licked her lips while tugging on my shirt. "I'm just going to make breakfast." I replied, finally on my feet. I stretched out my back and curled my toes. "I'll go with you." Camila began to sit up before I gently lied her back down onto the bed. "No, you stay up here. I'll bring the food to you." I kissed the top of her forehead before pulling a loose blanket over most of her body. She undoubtedly smiled and fell silent, except for breathing.

Entering the kitchen, I was greeted by a clean countertop and cabinets full of food just at my disposal. I remember learning how to make "eggs in a nest" when I was younger, so I would do pretty well. Don't laugh at me.

Sliding the slice of bread around the pan, I waited for it to turn to a crispy brown. My eyes slowly glanced over to the small rack of knives sitting at the corner of counter. I twitched my eyebrows in attempt to stop my thoughts from racing. I know that if I stare too long, I'll be tempted. I averted my attention back to the bread slice. I grab an egg and hold it firmly in my hand.

"No..." I mumbled to them. I can't lose this time. They caught onto my nervousness. "Don't." I continued to mumble my words, gritting my teeth. I hate the fact that I can easily be aggravated by some stupid headaches.

"I... can't. I... I won't."

"You can't force me."

"Please..."

In frustration, my hand crushed the fragile egg over the pan. The clear, yellow liquid slipped through the cracks of my fingers and dripped into the pan. I turned off the stove and immediately washed my hands under the cold running water. The water felt...  estranged. I didn't even know water could be estranged.

Why must you laugh and taunt me? It isn't nice. My hands found its place in the edge of the counter. My feet backed up a little, this giving most of my weight to my hands to take care. Looking down at the crumb-filled tile, my eyes jolted around, left to right, to try and figure everything.

Those blasts are so close... in reach of me. Just a simple touch could make them go away.

My right hand lifted itself up until completely falling limp.

My body knew better than my own mind did.

What's wrong with me?