Her short, brown eyebrows furrowed in confusion towards me. I should've kept my mouth shut.
At least everyone else's mouths are shut.
"I don't think you're crazy, just tell me." I was surprised she heard me, but I continue to frizz out.
"I'm just going through a lot right now. Too many things in my mind." I rubbed my forehead with my right wrist, Camila's hand still on my left hand. Her thumb swiped the top of my hand.
"I'm not in a right place, Camila. I don't know how to explain it, but my brain is exploding."
"I'm sorry... Shawn? How do you want me to help you?"
"I just don't want to talk about it..."
I stood up and walked over to our bedroom. My eyes glanced over to the nightmarish night stand. The smooth top could be seen a million miles away. It scared me. She can't know. It'll hurt her fragile heart.
"Shawn, I understand that you might be going through something really hard right now, and I'm not trying to push you, but I really need to know what's going on. You're frightening me." Her arms linked around my torso before I shook her off of me. My neck pulsed at her. When she's near me, they're gone, but her being near me right now isn't the best idea.
"Camila, not right now."
"Please! I don't want to just sit to the side and watch you go through something life crippling... maybe. I don't even know whats happening with you, because you won't tell me."
"No! I just said I don't want to talk about it! Can't you just lay off? Please?!" She stayed persistent with her stand. If she wants to know something, she'll find out.
I can't even bare to stand next to her. She's too close, but not close enough. Her clinginess angers me and I clench my fists. Everything in my mind races around. My heart pounded inside its cage.
They only just stopped screaming and now she is screaming. Too much noise.
Her mouth continued to move as I had not been perceiving it at all. I couldn't focus when everything that has ever frustrated me flushed back in.
"Stop! Camila, leave me alone!" My force winded against her through my arms. My hands forcing her down to the ground with her back nearly slammed against the wall.
YOU ARE READING
State Of Mind | sm + cc
Fiksi PenggemarShawn Mendes had been formally diagnosed with Schizophrenia and has been having to deal with it his entire life. However, he has become far too afraid to tell his girlfriend, Camila Cabello. All he wants is for her to be happy. All she wants is for...
