State Of Mind | sm + cc

:Ten:

                  "You can't continue to act like this, Shawn!" Camila waved her arms around in front of my face. "I can't help it! You know I'm messed up in the head." I rolled my eyes as I threw a fit like we have been for months now. This is just getting ridiculous now. Why is life just going on a downward spiral? "Stop using it as an excuse! You can perfectly get home at a reasonable time! There is no way that Jackson is making you stay there that late everyday!" She scrunched her nose, a thing she always did when she was frustrated.

"He is! There isn't anything I can do!"

"Come home early! I literally only see you when you have a day off!"

"I have to work! I'm sorry!"

They began to mock my arguments. I hadn't heard from these annoying fellows for a while. Only a day, though.

"You know what, I'm sorry.... I didn't mean to act like that." She removed her reading glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. Standing up from her seat, she flattens out the bottom of her shirt. "Let's just forget about this, okay?" She walks passed me enters the office, closing the door behind her. She always has to leave an argument in a calm manner so I don't cry so much that I do something I might regret. How sad is that?

I always say the same thing over and over again and never do anything about it. I want us to just love again. God, I'm so messed up. We're so messed up. One stupid fight after another. What ever happened to us? Maybe I can fix this. We haven't been seeing each other so much lately. By doing something that unites the two of us, it might make everything better. We might be able to be happy again.

I glanced over to my grandfather's watch that latched around my wrist to see the time; 9:25 PM. I didn't even notice the time. My eyes grew heavier as a grumbling yawn escaped my lips.

Can you guys shut up for five seconds? It's getting annoying, you know. The screaming is relentless.

Walking passed the office, I heard soft snores coming through the door. My hand lightly creaked open the door just so I can see a simple sliver of the room. Camila, head over desk and legs crossed in her chair, sleeps away with papers sprawled around her. I take a few glances between her and the bedroom door before I reluctantly roll my eyes. My feet quietly tapped against the floor before I reached her. I swiveled her chair around to face me as I picked her up out of the chair. Why do I always do this? I always go back to her in either of our vulnerable times. Her arms were loosely locked around my neck as I held her in the bulkiness of my arms.

"Huh... what are... you doing?" She mumbled, taking a look at her surroundings.  "I'm taking you to bed." I whispered, trying to make her go back to sleep. "No, I... have to finish my work." She tried to let loose of my grip, but I kept it firm. "You're tired, you need some rest." I lied her on top of the mattress and unlocked her arms from my neck. "I really do need to finish, Shawn. You can't keep doing this." She sat up, ready to go back into the office, but I gently pushed her back onto the bed. "I know, I know." Taking the simple plush blanket, it fell over her and covered her body in warmth.

After settling her in the bed, I planted a small kiss on the top of her pale forehead. I took a couple steps in her opposite direction before she grabbed the belt loop of my pants to pull me back. "Where are you going?" She asked with her eyes barely opened. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch." I tilted my head back towards the door way before she pulled my back once again. "What, why?" I got pulled back enough to where she sat me down on the bed in front of her. My weight pressed down the bed making her body lean over to my back.

"If it's what we were talking about earlier, I'm sorry, Shawn."

"I thought that you wanted some space from me."

"I didn't mean to make it sound like that. It's just that... You come home late all the time. What am I supposed to do?"

"I work a lot."

"I know, but it's too much, don't you think?" She sighed. I had to agree with her, though. Even if I didn't want to.

"We should do something then. I'm sorry." Camila positioned herself to sit up behind me. Arms wrapped around my torso and head resting on my shoulder, her breaths winded passed my skin. "Like what?" Her voice questioned. "I don't know, like a date or something. We haven't been on one of those in while. What do you say?" I turned my head to the right to somewhat face her. "Well," she pondered," we can't do tonight... or the night after that, so what about in two days?"

"Three days to make it on a Friday."
"Sounds perfect to me." Her smile shined in the dark. She unwrapped herself from my body and scooted over to give me a bit of space to lie down.