Good Girl Gone To Fall In Love (BOOK 3)

Chapter 9

"What are we?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "You know what I mean don't you? It's just confusing the hell out of me and-"

"No, I get it. Why do you want to know all of a sudden?" he asked.

"Don't you? Don't you want something permanent?" I asked looking into his eyes once again. "I mean everyone's different, but I definitely want something permanent one day. I just don't know if I can go through this."

This meaning him and I being a form of "friends with benefits."

"I don't know what we are," he said.

"Are we even anything?" I asked.

"In a sense we would be considered friends with benefits," he said.

"Yeah well I've already been a friend with benefits and let me tell you, I'm not about that life," I said.

"Well what if I am?" he asked.

That stung. I mean, I know he said he wasn't a player, and we aren't exactly a couple, so he can do whatever he wants. And I mean, I guess it's only fair since I go out with Nate.

"Then-I-it's your choice," I said looking down at my fingers.

"This isn't even fair; you putting me on the spot!" Alec defended.

"That's why I said it was nothing!" I said.

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"I don't want you to do anything because you clearly don't know what we are and obviously you don't want to be anything more than friends with benefits. But I can't, I can't be friends with benefits. I'm sorry," I said.

"Yeah, I am too," he said and walked out. Everything happened so quickly I couldn't even keep up. And now he's gone. I don't even know if we are still friends!

That night I slept alone for the first time in a while. My body felt bare without his arm around my waist, and I felt cold all over. My dreams turned into nightmares, and when I thought I was safely planted on Earth, I was taken right back to hell.

------------

Days went on and I had only seen Alec at lunch and in Surfing class. He didn't come by the penthouse anymore, and he avoided me at all costs. For the first time I wasn't the dumpee, I was the dumper.

And I felt just as awful as I did when I was the dumpee. Does everyone feel like this? Does it go both ways? Do both ex-partners feel....empty?

Then again can I really call us ex-partners if we were never really together. I guess it all depends on what you call a partner. Someone who you just have fun with, do homework with, date, or sleep with, right?

I wasn't happy to say the least. I was legitimately upset that I let him go so easily. He looks happy though. He smiled with the populars, laughed at jokes, I guess it didn't affect him as much as it did me. But I guess that's what I want, him to be happy.

I wasn't my self lately. I mean I haven't been for a while, but now I feel mute. I don't talk to people anymore, I skip school more than I should, and Aunt Moline was getting worried.

One, crisp, cold, morning, I woke up with a pounding in my head. I felt light headed and my stomach was aching. I flung myself out of bed and went straight for the bathroom. My dinner, and possibly lunch, came back up and my throat was burning.

After I was done throwing up, I sat on the floor of my bathroom not able to get up. I felt like I was dying. My breathing wasn't steady, I felt like I was running out of air. My lungs were slowly collapsing (or so I felt) and my body was turning against each other and me. My organs didn't feel like they were working and I could feel myself tuning pale and cold.

I couldn't scream for help because I couldn't breathe. My eyes started to water, I didn't know what was happening. My body went into full on shock mode. I couldn't speak, breathe, move. I already felt dead. If that was even possible.

"Mel?" Vivian screamed.

I shut my eyes as her voice echoed through my ears. One hand went straight for my heart as it felt like it wasn't beating. I wailed in pain, as my heart clenched jurastically.

Although my eyes were closed I could feel her presence in front of me.

"Oh my god," she said. "NATE! ALEC!"

My lungs collapsed, my heart stopped beating, the pain kept going. I couldn't feel anything but pain, and I didn't know why. My breathing hitched in my throat and I couldn't feel air. I couldn't breathe. And my eyes couldn't open either. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move nor could I speak.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you describe

A heart break.

---------------

Authors Note

Short I know, but I felt really bad for not putting up anything for you guys so duble update. Hope I'm forgiven❤