A Friendly Experiment

Awkward Silences

TANNER:

It'd been two days since the whole kissing fiasco happened.  Two whole days!  Two silent days, two awkward days, two horrible days.  Today was shaping up to be one of those days.  Already we'd had breakfast in total silence and currently we were having a silent lunch.  Was this really going to be my life for the next week and a half? 

I finished my food and set the tray down on my dresser, as usual.  As I walked back to my bed I noticed the journal that David had given us.  Mine had fallen onto the floor sometime last week, and I'd never bothered to pick it up.  I'd never written in it, because I'd been busy talking to Petra.  I might as well write in it now.  God knows we're not going to be talking anytime soon.

Dear David,

Hey David.  It's me, Tanner.  So, I'm sorry I haven't written in this thing.  I guess I've just been busy...until now.  It's going on day 3 of Petra not talking to me.  It kinda sucks.  I mean, up until now, we've been having fun.  And then I had to do that stupid thing.  You probably know what I'm talking about.  The kiss.  Sometimes I wonder why such a smart guy like you could be friends with such an idiot?  Why did I have to kiss her?  You'd probably say that I was acting on my primal urges.  While I was, I was also acting on the fact that I really like her. 

I don't know why we never talked in school.  I wish I'd talked to her in school.  Maybe I would've been less cynical of all the girls in our school.  I used to think they were all dumb and boring.  And then there's Petra.  Well, you know.  She's not like any of them.  God, Carthridge would beat me if he read this.  I do sound like a chick.  But, in all honesty, this is how I feel.  I care about Petra.  I screwed shit up.  Life is life, and life sucks.

-Tanner.

So my journal was a little pessimistic, but at least I wrote in the thing.  I'm guessing that Carthridge hadn't touched the thing.  I could here him and Avery screaming at each other.  I hated living next to them.  I hated living in silence with Petra more, though.  That's it.   I had to say something.  Say anything.  I couldn't live like this anymore!

"Petra, can we talk?" I asked.  She looked up at me and nodded; I froze.  I wanted to talk, but I had no idea what to say.

--

PETRA:

He wanted to talk.  Finally.  I was sick of the silence on Monday night, and by now, it was unbearable.  I wanted to break it, but I had no idea what to say.  I couldn't exactly start off by saying, 'so you kissed me, what the fuck was that about?'.  However, Tanner wasn't exactly making great strides right now.  He wasn't speaking.

"Okay." I answered him, incase he'd missed my nod.

"Well." He stopped.  I rolled my eyes, realizing that he had no real plan here.

"What, Tanner?" I asked.

"I'm sorry." He blurted.  Oh God.

"You said that before." I rolled my eyes again, and turned away from him.  He'd apologized the first time for kissing me, but it didn't matter.  He took my apology as a way to use me.  Not cool.

"I know, but I was hoping that you'd actually listen to me this time." He said.  I wasn't use to his using this tone.  he was being rude, or anything, but he was being firm.

"Okay, fine." I agreed, realizing that if I just continued to ignore him, we'd go back to that horrible silence.

"I know I should have...done what I did," he started.

"Kissed me." I corrected.  He paused and looked down at the ground, embarrassed. "You can't even admit that you kissed me?"

"No.  It's not that." He said, looking up at me. "I can say I kissed you.  But when you say, you say it like I did something wrong.  I didn't think I was doing anything wrong when I kissed you.  I was just acting on the way I felt." He explained. 

I was the one looking down at the ground now.  I felt kind of bad.  Tanner was sincere in everything he said.  I truly believed that he kissed me with good intentions.  I felt like a total jerk now.  I'd been ignoring him for what seemed like forever, all because I thought he was a total pig.  I guess I just couldn't find anything really wrong with him, so I made something up.

"I'm sorry, Tanner." I apologized. "It was just unexpected." I shrugged. "And I also tend to assume the worst."

"It's fine.  I just don't want you to be upset." He said.  There was a silence that filled the room.  I had no idea how to fill it.  Should I start a conversation?  Or would that be even more awkward? "I think I'm going to take a nap." Tanner said, filling the void of silence.

"Cool." I muttered as he laid back in his bed.  I really didn't know if we'd ever get back to our old routine.  Probs not. This was going to be hella awkward.