Football One Shots

~Neymessi~

Part one
"Come on Neymar! What are you doing? Get the damn ball!" Luis's voice rang through the empty stadium as we worked on 6v6.
I'd just missed a perfect pass from Leo into space. I knew I should've run into the ball, but I just wasn't able to. My legs just wouldn't seem to cooperate with my movements.
"Sorry." I put my hand up to Luis apologetically and began to run again.
I wanted to practice well for our upcoming game. I didn't need anyone taking my starting spot against a top competitor.
When another pass came, I had a sloppy first-touch and lost possession. Luis sighed and I knew he was getting frustrated with my many screw-ups.
A long ball came to my feet and I began to dribble. Luis was making a run into space so I did the obvious, I sent him the ball. I ended up putting too much power behind the pass and the ball whizzed past him and out of bounds.
"Oh my..." Luis huffed in frustration but carried on.
The last time I screwed up was when I toed the ball up and over everyone's heads, to the touch line, and into the stands. Everyone knew it was a toe ball since the sound spread through the stadium like wild fire in a dry field.
"Neymar, get dressed and go home. You obviously have something more important you're dealing with. When you find your head, you can come back to practice." If Luis had said this, I wouldn't have been that upset, but it was Leo who spoke.
"But Leo I-"
"No! If you aren't gonna play correctly, then don't play at all. There are many players who would love to have your spot in the next match. You' don't have to be here." My heart ached at the truth in his words.
"Ok." I whispered and turned away from his disapproving look.
I could feel everyone's heated stares on my backside as I jogged to the tunnel.
I didn't dare to meet any of them because I knew they were full of anger and judgement.
The burning sensation in my eyes told me the tears were surfacing. I was never good with hiding my feelings, hence why Leo always knew when something was wrong... well usually knew.
He obviously didn't realize my feelings right now. He didn't notice that I felt sad. I felt alone. I felt unwanted.
When I entered the locker room, I threw my cleats across it. A loud 'bang' sounded when they hit a locker and fell to the ground.
My hands gripped my hair and I began to cry.
I was tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of smiling when I really just wanted to cry. Tired of acting like I wanted to be here. Though I guess I wasn't acting like I wanted to be here.
I quickly threw my bag together and walked out of the locker room without looking back. As I sped through the hallways, I could hear the clack of cleats as the team headed in for lunch break. I heard Leo and Luis talking. I stopped and pressed myself to the wall.
"-problem is, but he needs to fix it." Leo spoke.
"Probably mad because he isn't excelling like us. You and Neymar used to be the best duo, but now we are. He's barely even making the trident anymore. He's just not as good as he was a year ago." Luis's words halted my breath.
"Yeah, maybe." Leo agreed.
My hand came up to my mouth to hold in my sob. I quickly bolted down the hallway and out of the doors.
It was drizzling outside now and I couldn't help but look up to the sky and let the water drip onto my skin.
My salty tears mixed with the rain as I walked to my car. Just as I put my bags in the passenger side, Leo's voice filled my ears.
"Hey Neymar, about practice. If you don't start f- why are you crying?" His voice went from serious to worried very quickly.
"I'm not, it's the rain." I explained as I held down another sob.
"Ney, if it's b-"
"I have to get home." I bite as I got into the car, then I sped off, leaving Leo behind.
As soon as I got home, I threw my bags on the floor in front of the door, and ran upstairs. When I entered the bathroom, I heaved into the toilet. I could feel my throat burning as I continued to vomit. I stayed on the floor for almost half-an-hour, disposing the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I eventually fell asleep on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.
The stress and anxiety caused my body to react in many negative ways. I threw up, suffered migraines, got the shakes, and quite frequently had panic attacks.
I never talked about my anxiety issues with anyone, in fear of their thoughts and what they'd say. I didn't want Leo to choose Luis over me because I wasn't perfect like Luis.
The cold tile of the floor soothed my burning skin as I slept without moving a muscle.
I woke up the next morning around 5:30. I had practice at 8, but I didn't know if I was welcome. Assuming that I wasn't, I decided on taking Poker for a walk.
"Pokes! Come here!" I called through the house.
The click of his nails against the hardwood told me he was approaching. Poker appeared from around the corner and ran to me. When we exited the house, I spotted Leo's car pulling up in the driveway.
"What the hell does he want now?" A million guesses ran through my head, none of them positive, as Leo turned off the engine.
He stepped out of the car in a pair of washed jeans and a blue, skin-tight, shirt. His hair was spiked in the front as usual, but he still looked hot.
"What are you doing here Leo?" I asked in a bored tone.
"I came to inform you that we're having a meeting today with the team, no coaches or staff, just players, to decide what we're going to do about your recent episodes at practice." I scoffed loudly and rolled my eyes at him.
"What are you guys gonna do? Sit me on the bench?" I know I shouldn't have said it, but the anger I felt was becoming too much.
Leo shrugged his shoulders and turned his back to me.
"If I were you, I'd think of a really great excuse as to why you've been slacking." Leo called back.
"And what if I don't need to think? What if I really do have a reason?"
"Then I guess you'll have to share it at the meeting. Be in the locker room by 9:30." He left after he finished his statement.
I was beyond surprised that Leo talked to me as if I was his enemy. Leo was always Switzerland in conflicts between teammates, but now he was picking sides... He acted like he despised me and I was no one to him. Then again, I was already replaced by Luis...
---
I entered the locker room at 9:27 and took a seat in front of my section. The locker room had been booming with laughter and jokes, but was now full of whispers.
Dani and Rafa came over and sat on either side of me.
"I'm so sorry Kiddo. I know they don't understand what you're going through, but this is uncalled for. They should've checked on you instead of hounding you and throwing this on you. You need to tell them the truth." Bile rose in my throat as I thought of telling them how depressed I've become, but I held it in.
"I love you guys." I hummed in response as the room grew quiet and Luis and Leo stood near the doors.
"Ok, we obviously need to have a discussion about some things that have been going on lately. First of all, we have a game Monday against RM, so everyone needs to be putting their all into these practices, not taking it easy. Which brings me to my next point, Neymar, you've been really slacking lately. I'd understand if you had a good reason for not playing at your best, but you obviously don't have one. So-"
"Wait a hot second Suarez! How do you know he doesn't have a reason for his down-in-the-dumps attitude!?" Dani interrupted.
"Cause he hasn't given us-"
"Well maybe if you asked, instead of assuming, we wouldn't be having a problem right now." Dani's tone was deadly as he glared at Luis.
"No Dani, it's f-"
"It's not fine! Your feelings matter Neymar! When will you get that through your head!? Tell them the truth!"
My heart stopped for a short moment and I froze. My palms were sweating and my fingers were shaking. I could feel the panic rising in my chest as everyone waited for my reply.
Leo's stare was curious and a bit concerned as he waited for me to say something.
"I-I..." I looked to Dani and he gave me a slight nod.
"I'm tired..." I whispered.
Luis's laugh rang through the room and caused everyone to look at him.
"So you're putting in little-to-no work because you're tired? Well so are we Neymar! We practice 9-5 everyday! Doesn't mean you can 'take it easy'!"
"No, that's not..."
"What? You wanna take that back? Too late, we all know just how weak and out of shape you are now." I stared at him wide eyed.
My breath left my body and sweat began to build on my forehead and neck. My hands scrunched up and my whole body began to shake.
"Wow Luis! Low blow!" Dani stood and grabbed my face in his hands.
A tear fell from my right eye and made a temporary home on Dani's thumb.
My breaths became airy and my vision blurred. I gripped onto Dani's shirt and pulled. My forehead pressed against his chest as I let out a gasp for air.
A desperate whine left my throat as I tried to make myself calm down. I thought of things like Poker and Brazil, but everything always ended up back to my current situation.
The tightness in my chest grew as I struggled to stay up right. The dizziness I was experiencing was the worst I'd ever had.
"Shit. Look what you did Luis! Someone get Ramón!" Dani held me by the shoulders and whispered positive things to me.
Leo approached me cautiously and spoke lowly to Dani.
"What's wrong with him? What's wrong with Neymar?" Leo's eyes were wide.
"This is what he meant by 'tired'. He's depressed, Leo. He's struggling to get through the day and suffers from anxiety. He's afraid of not being enough and feeling unwanted." Tears left my eyes as my truth came out.
Leo's hand reached out to touch me, but I flinched away and stood up.
My head was spinning on an axis as I stepped from Dani's grip and made my way towards the door.
Luis had a dumbfounded expression masking his face as he watched me.
"Screw... Screw you Luis!" I wheezed.
I collapsed into Dani's arms as he grabbed me from behind and held me tight. I closed my eyes and allowed the darkness to start its takeover.
I was almost out when Ramón entered the room and rushed to my side and began an examination.
My shirt was quickly removed and gasps rang through the room.

No... Not those too...

I fell into a deep sleep as Dani lifted me off the cold ground and carried me.

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Thanks for reading!