Little White Lies

Chapter 12: "407"

"Good morning Niall." The nurse woke me as I sat on the side of Ashley's bed. Ashley was in a new room, a one patient room but was fit for 3; I only wanted the best for Ash.

It's been 3 weeks, 3 quiet, motionless, agonizing, painful weeks. I got out of the hospital bed the day after Aliya came, when I walked outside fans screamed and of course paparazzi was there to assist the crowd with flashing lights. I had to explain the whole situation on interview after interview. Every moment I had to leave her side made me feel worse and worse.

"Morning." I finally replied to the girl who we've all learned is Kate.

"3 more weeks and you're out of that heavy old thing" she points to my leg cast. "Don't forget your appointment tomorrow to see the progress." She says as she starts to change Ashley's bandages. She only pulls the curtain back if the others are in here.

"Speaking of progress any good in Ashley's position?" Kate pulls up a chair and sits down next to me.

"Her ribs are healing perfectly and her body temperature is staying at a good level." I want to smile at the progress but I wanted more, I wanted her to tell me that she is going to wake today or move or even mumble some words.

"Have they talk to you about the concussion?" I lean over resting my elbows on my knees.

"Yeah, she may wake but it's possible she'll have amnesia, there could be a chance she won't even know who she i-," I was cut off by the feeling of my hand that was holding Ashley's moving. I looked down and feel her fingers hold back.

"Ashley, Ashley baby can you hear me?" I turned to the nurse. "Can she hear me? She moved I can feel her holding my hand."  I panicked as I stood practically shaking.

"Niall calm down. That's a good thing; it means her body is reacting on its own. I'll go get the doctor and what's the next move."

"Ashley please wake up, please open your eyes just for a second. Ashley please baby I miss you, your smile, laugh, voice. Please I cant take another day without you. They force me to smile in public, they make me say I'm doing good in interviews when I'm really torn. I have to tweet fake feelings, I need my other half Ashley, I need you Ash."For what feels like the thousandth time I cry, my body overwhelmed I don't here Liam come in. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him and cried and cried and cried. I could feel I'm cry too as my shoulder became wet.

Someone cleared their throat and we were greeted by the doctor. I watched as he went to the heart murmur. "Mr. Horan," I took a deep breath, "We're going to try and see if she can breathe without the machine, would you like to be in the room?" I nodded my head, he called in the nurse in and I closed my eyes clutching onto his hand.

Within a few seconds the room went silent, then that horrid noise was heard. A flat line. That was it, the bit of my heart that was holding on was broken.

"Turn it on," I said, I wanted her to live, "I said turn it on." I raised my voice, I couldn't take the noise.

"Niall, I think you better go home and rest." Liam said, "C'mon I'll watch her, at least shower and change." After I get my cast off I'm ready to go home and shower. Liam promised not to leave the room and call me if anything changed.

When I get home it's freezing. The heater hasn't been on for days, I haven't left the hospital in days. I jump in the shower and the warm water feels like heaven, probably the best thing I've felt in the past month. I sit on the bed as just close my eyes. I haven't slept in days, every time I shut my eyes it's a nightmare after another. I pull on my grey joggers and pull over a black sweater. My mum calls and I lie back on the bed and listen to her talk about how she has been praying for Ash.

***

I hold my breath as I stretch waiting for my hands to touch the hospital wall but it doesn't, I shoot my eyes open.

"Shit," I fell asleep on the phone with my mum, I look at the time.

8:15pm not so bad only a couple h-, then I see it. It's already the next day.

I just slept almost 2 whole days. I get up and scramble for my phone and bag I had packed yesterday and grabbed my guitar. As I'm driving my mind beats me up, how could I just fall asleep like that?

As I arrive I see Liam in the waiting room with his head in his hand. "Liam." I shout and he looks up with red eyes, god has he been crying?

"Hey where the hell have you been?" I expected him to be mad but he was calm.

"I fell asleep yesterday after my shower, I'm such an idiot."

"No you were just tired, I tried staying as long as I could but the nurse had me leave for visiting hours." I nod,

"Well thank you and go home you look sleep deprived." I joke and he grabs his coat.

 I look at the woman who always lets me in even when visiting hours aren't open. I walk down the dimly lit hallway and spot her room,

407

I read, when I enter Kate is at Ashley's side. "Hey how she doing?"

"She hanging in there, do you mind helping me?" I set my stuff down and get closer to her. "see all these little sticky pads on her chest take them off." I slowly take them off and look at the red spots they leave her.

"We're going to restart her heart."

"We?" just as I said that the doctor had came in.

"Ahh Mr. Horan good to see you, how's that leg?" I cut the small talk short and stand in the corner and watch helplessly.

I closed my eyes and rocked side to side.