Hush, Howl
I've never had a peaceful sleep that night. My guilt was flashing out of nowhere and won't even let me sleep a wink. Darren was still sweet and caring despite of the answers I gave him when he...confessed. He was still trying to act cheery, even though deep inside he feels crushed. I can see it in his eyes.
I know that I was feeling the same for him. And knowing the fact that he feels the same way for me made my heart leap out of joy.
I mean--he likes me, as he stated. And over the past few days, I've been keeping mine a deep secret. I am feeling the same, I like him too.
Oh damn it!
I tossed over my bed and buried my face on my pillow in frustration.
Darren. Darren. Darren. Darren. The way he smiles. Admit it. Your heart flutters.
I know I want to let go. Be happy even for once. But the past was hindering me. With every second that goes by, I know that that day is coming closer. I just want to be alone. It's something that I need to face. Alone.
Darren. Darren. Darren. The way he talks. He has those cute dimples you know!
Ugh! I tossed the pillow off my face and glanced at the time. But instead of the clock, I saw the flowers behind it. Fresh and lively inside a vase filled with water. Something which was just given to me in an occassion that just occured.
Darren. Darren. The way he's so sweet and romantic. You like him, don't you?
That's it!
I harshly threw the covers off me and hopped out of my bed. I pulled open my drawer where I last placed my flute and stomped my way out of my room.
As I opened the door out, I took a deep breath and walked as quiet as a mouse.
After I got out of the house through the back door, I ran towards the forest in my pajamas. It's dark and eerily quiet. There's no one there but me, nature and probably wild animals.
Despite of the darkness, I managed to navigate my way towards my usual spot.
I sat down the tree stump and raised the tone plate over my lips.
I think I know just the song to release my frustrations.
My tune doesn't sound vulnerable. In fact it was filled with energy. I guess I'm using it as a bridge to lash out my frustration and irritation.
I closed my eyes and saw memories flooding into my brain. I soon found myself slowly altering the tune to the one Darren and I were playing, so I quickly focused back to the current song.
Darren. You love him.
Ugh, even my flute is starting to scream Darren.
Noises rustled from my right. Frustrated, I stopped playing my flute and threw it away from me. I watched it as it hit the tree and bounced off before settling down on the ground where I can see it.
I buried my face on my palms and propped my elbow above my knee to support my head. Rubbing my face, warm liquid oozed on my palms and I realized that I was crying. I wiped away the tears with the sleeves of my pajamas and sobbed violently.
I don't know why, but everything is just too overwhelming for me.
First, I found myself falling for a handsome stranger, second, I realized that that day was inching slowly.
