Protection, Zack Merrick, All Time Low

54

A month later

Kimberly

"I'm ready when you are." Zack says, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing a stitch onzie that I bought from Hot Topic.

I'm wearing the pink stitch one, but her name is Angel. I was doing my makeup in pink and purple colors so I would look better with it. I bought dollar store eyeshaddows, I don't really wear makeup, so I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money on something I'll only wear once.

"You look gorgeous." Zack smiles, pecking my lips once I'm done.

We were going by Alexs' at noon for lunch, because my parents are there so my mom and dad can see Alexs' babies first Halloween, and then we were coming back here to hand out candy, and then at eleven at night, we would show up at Jacks party.

Zack drove us to Alexs' and Alex opens the door, wearing a Peter Pan costume, because our theme is Disney, and he hugs me tightly, like he hasn't seen me in days, when he saw me last week.

"Lighten up." I giggle.

"Well! You've been making wedding and tour plans with Lisa and Nano and I missed you." He frowns. Him and Zack exhange hushed words as I walk inside to see my parents, they hug me tightly too, and I hug Lisa softly, before picking up my little four month old nephew.

"Mum!" I hop over and hug my mother, handing Zack Lucas, and I hug my dad.

Mum smile, "You look so cute!" She coos, kissing my forehead.

"Thank you mum. You do too." I smile.

"I'm Queen Clarion."

"I could tell, I love Tinker Bell." I giggle, and I see my dad dressed up as Lord Milori, his hair even slid back since it's graying, and mum had her hair pulled into a bun, and she was wearing a springy dress, and dad was weari.g blue jeans and a blue jean vest with a white shirt, it made me chuckle.

"Oh, I want a picture of you and Zack." Mom says, and takes a picture with her phone and with mine, zacks arm around me, and then one of us sitting on the floor kind of like how Stitch and Angel sit, she sends them to me, and already I can't wait to tweet them.

We sit with my mom, and she asks me thousands of questions about the wedding, and I answer them. She avoids asking questions about if Denny has contacted me, and I know they all wonder that.

He hasn't.

We sit for a long time, till it starts to get dark. Zack and I leave quickly and to go hand out candy, and leery me tell you, the kids abd teenagers that dressed up in the neighborhood are all either cute looking or horrifying.

Zack wanted to stay home instead of going to Jacks party, but I promised we would only go thirty minutes, I wanted to see what Jack, Rian, and Cass dressed as.

Rian was a zombie. Cass was a Gothic cheerleader? Jack... well... other than being shitfaced, he was a pirate wuth a red quiff in his hair and a sparkly eye patch.

I danced with Zack, who was actually glad to be there, and someone told us that expieriments don't dance, and it made me chuckle, because it was a tipsy Cass.

"So when are you two having babies?" Vinny asked

"Not for a while." I giggle. "We would like to be married first."

"I mean, Cass and Rian don't want kids, but they'd make cute babies, you would make cuter babies."

I chuckle, and Zack seems uncomfortable, does he actually want children? I've always wanted little mini-mes' running around. I frown, and I try not to be affected by it.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, concerned.

"It's nothing." I shrug him off and excuse myself to go to the restroom.

I come back out a few minutes later and then Zack and I decided to head home, Jack wanted us to stay longer, but I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach.

"Baby?" Zack asks when I crawl into bed, he's already in bed, but sitting up. "I need you to tell me what's wrong. I want to help."

"It's just my mind." I snap. "It won't shut up because I'm always over thinking things."

He tries to wrap his arm around me, and I frown again, but lean into him.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about how you looked when Vinny mentioned kids." I sigh, "You didn't seem like you wanted them."

"I do, but I don't know if I'll ever be ready for them. I think about it, and our kid might get used in high school because they'll be family to famous people, and I don't want them to be stressed out because of it. And what would we do when we tour?"

"I can stay home. I can find a new job, not that I don't like working with you guys, but I want children." I look up at him, and for some stupid reason, I've got tears brimming my eyes.

"How am I supposed to be
Everything they expect me to be,
When I feel so alone?
'Cause I left my heart at home." Zack recites a song that has always made me feel guilty, because rock stars need their spouses, and they need their family.

"I'm gonna go sleep in the guest room, I just need time to think." I say, and he protests, but I go anyway.

If he doesn't want kids, and I want kids very much, what am I going to do?

He had a point, what would I do? What kind of job would I get? I have a cosmetic degree, I could use that, but I would have the hardest time being without Zack, and who would the boys hire without men being there?

Happy Halloween.

We tour next week.