A beating heart

Chapter 3

notes: thank you for all your kind review on the previous chapters, they are greatly appreciated. This chapter is a bit longer then the last ones, so enjoy :)

disclaimer: as always, I own nothing

3.

Mary woke to Greer's gentle hand on her shoulder the next morning, surprisingly relaxed. Her head didn't hurt anymore and the dark circle beneath her eyes had nearly vanished completely. Stretching her muscles and arching her back, she sat up in bed, a genuine smile on her lips when her ladies helped her dress.

„Mary, might I ask you something?", Kenna's voice was kind but this wasn't a demand to be ignored.

„I won't be able to stop you, now will I?", Mary smiled.

„Have you told Francis why?"

„I ..." her voice faltered, her eyebrows furrowing slightly „ I can't, I can't tell him. If he knew he'd wear me down as long as need be, convincing me of the falsehood of the prophecy. I couldn't ..."

„But doesn't he deserve to know?" Lola suddenly blurted out, interrupting her queen mid sentence „He loves you Mary, he really does and now he thinks the feeling isn't mutual!" challenging Mary with those tough grey eyes of hers. „He thinks you ran off with his brother on your wedding day, betraying his trust! You hurt him Mary, and he deserves an explanation." Lola finished in a determined tone.

There was a lot of truth in Lola's words, she knew that. She was fully aware of what she had done to Francis, how she had shattered his heart into a thousand pieces. The hurt in his eyes when he had looked at her the day before had been agonizing and she just wanted it to stop, to go back in time to a happier place.

„Lola, that wasn't kind", Greer scolded her.

„But she needs someone to tell her the damage she has caused! He thinks she wanted to elope with his brother, his best friend."

„I know!" Mary shot Lola a warning look „I know what I've done, thank you very much."

„Oh Mary", Greer embraced her and wiped away a stray tear that had escaped Mary's eye.

Did Francis really assume that she had run from him to marry his brother, did he really think her that cruel? Maybe Lola was right, she definitely owed him an explanation. She couldn't give him the one thing he so desperately desired and she had lied to him. In some ways that part was even worse. He was the one person she could have always been totally honest with, the one person that would have always heard her out, never mocking her for her words. Lying to him just felt so utterly wrong and unnatural.

She had to make him understand though that she couldn't marry him, not in this life. But he wouldn't get it, he wouldn't be able to comprehend why she loved him and still wouldn't become his wife. Lying to him was the only way, as much as it pained her to acknowledge that. She had to convince him that she no longer loved him, breaking his already shattered heart even further.

„He thinks I love Bash?" Mary glares at Lola „How can you know?"

„It's not really a secret, the whole castle is gossiping about the young queen that that ran off with a bastard at her side" Lola offered, her voice kinder than before.

Mary was gaping at her, did people really think so low of her? She knew her disappearance must have looked bad but it wasn't until know that she conceived of how utterly stupid and childish her actions must have seemed. The Scottish queen, promised to the dauphin of France, eloping with his older bastard born brother.

A small laugh, derived of all humor, escaped her throat. But that was just it, she was betrothed to the dauphin, the future king, to Francis. How hadn't she thought of this before, it seemed to be so glaringly obvious to everyone else. She could marry Bash, the dauphin's elder brother.