A beating heart

Chapter 26

„I love you." suddenly his heart was whole again and all the hurt and heartbreak forgotten in an instant.

This time, the tears clouding his eyes were not out of sadness but joy. Nothing had ever sounded sweeter to his ears than the three magical words she had finally said out loud. Of course she had said them before, many time back when the sun had still been brighter in the sky and they had shared the same bed most nights. But this meant so much more. It was the irrefutable proof he had chased after for so long, the confession that had finally set his heart free.

And just when he had thought it was impossible for their love to grow any stronger, it had. His chest was practically bursting with it as the warmth filled his whole body. And the smile, now playing so blatantly on his lips, had never been so true.

The impact wasn't lost on her either. Another sob escaped her pouted lips, but her beaming eyes were compensation enough. And he could feel it as well, how her body was suddenly relieved of all tension and she melted into him, nestling her sweet head into his chest. Her scent was intoxicating, as he inhaled it, with his nose so closely pressed to her hair.

Being back in this room, with her in his arms, felt like home to him and he had been absent for far too long. As they stood there, she had balanced most of her weight on him and when he truly feared she might fall over, he moved his one hand lower, swooping her up into his arms. She felt lighter and her bones were more prominent through her thin skin then they had used to be. It made him feel a small pang of sadness, knowing how physically weak she still was. He made sure he had her securely propped against his chest before moving to the large couch next to the fire. All the while neither uttered a word, not daring to destroy the bliss the current moment entailed.

He carefully put her down and she sank against the backrest, gifting him a weak smile. Her hand was still in his and he took the place next to her, almost terrified of loosing her once more.

Her smile was all he could focus on and he already dreaded the question he would have to ask her. But there was no way around this. He had come too far and this had been his goal all along. He needed to know, needed to hear what she had kept from him for all this time.

„Mary," he swallowed as he could already feel the tight feeling in his chest return „I need to know." he gave her hand another squeeze.

She averted her eyes for a moment, gazing out the window, and when they returned to him, the tears running down her cheeks when she blinked, hurt more than he had expected.

„Please don't, Francis. I don't want to ruin this." she barely got the words out as the tears clogged her voice.

She lightly shook her head and the fear was now blatant in her eyes. He could feel his stomach drop. Everything had seemed so perfect just a minute ago. He didn't want to go back to this, he couldn't. Seeing the silent hurt behind her big round eyes and knowing that there was so much unsaid between them, he couldn't let it happen again. There were so many lies and coveted looks separating them and he wasn't having it any longer. It all needed to stop. No matter how hard, the only way to escape this silent hell was the truth. Both of them needed to come to terms with that.

Deep inside his heart he was sure that she must know how he was feeling. She had probably realized, the damage her lies had caused, long ago. And whatever the reason for her to still stay silent, he wouldn't like hearing it. But he had to, it was the only way.

He could feel the fear that he had glimpsed in her eyes, now trickling in as well. His heart was accelerating in his chest, the anticipation building with every passing beat. This wasn't any easier for him, but sometimes one had to be brave and brace the facing storm to reach the save land.