A beating heart

Chapter 34

„Cathrine, a word." even she was surprised by her sudden surge of courage.

The older woman spun around, narrowing her eyes at Mary.

„Guards" she exclaimed and the men carefully peaked through the still open door.

„As of now, I am still your Queen and for the time being, you will obey my orders." Mary glared at them.

„I condemn this way of simply bursting into my chambers, your Majesty." Cathrine still held one of her little flasks, which she had been fiddling with earlier, in her hand.

It was curious indeed. Minutes ago her husband had screamed at her, cursing her stupidity and reckless choices. The fear mixed with anger in his eyes had infected her and she could have fainted from the overbearingness of it all. But somehow she hadn't. As through a miracle, her legs had carried her out of Bash's chambers and her head had felt weirdly empty. But that same nothingness meant that the fear had somehow fled her body and mind. Maybe she had just been beyond the point of carrying for anything anymore. The adrenaline in her veins had filled her head and washed out all her fears and inhibitions.

When one reached one's breaking point and pushed beyond it, the resistance, built up by one's own doubts and fears, eventually faded away. If you pushed a scared cat long enough, she would at some point attack with an impulse to kill. She had never felt this determined in her life, standing here before the one woman she had used to dread more than any other person in this world. If this plan of her's failed, it would mean her death and maybe it were just those high risks, riding on the outcome, that made her braver than ever before. When the only alternative was death, no sacrifice would be too high.

Francis wasn't here and the likelihood of his betrayal higher than she might have wanted to admit. The secrets she had entrusted him with and the courage it had taken her to speak the words in the first place were now lost. He had deserted her and the damage it had done, left her heart and soul strangely hollow and empty. In this very moment he was in talks with one of the biggest threats to her and her husband's rule. Whatever the future might hold, she had to find another way. Anne was the one thing she held dearest in her heart and she was not about to give that love up for anything, not even death if that was what it took.

She had spent enough of her time, pondering Francis decisions and choices. If he was lost to her and her daughter too, she wouldn't crumble with the pain but rather grow with the challenge. She was a queen, the ruler of an entire nation in her own right, just as Anne would be her rightful successor. No one could ever take this from them and she wouldn't allow anyone to take her daughter from her side. She wouldn't rely on any man, be it France or the husband, she wished she had never married. This right here was her responsibility and she wouldn't disappoint, she could feel the strength restoring in her bones.

With the courage filling her hollow heart to the brim, she put on a bittersweet smile that would compliment the fire in her eyes and willed herself to speak again.

„These aren't your chambers, the Dauphine resides here by my and may husband's good graces. But I'm not here for him and what would you have to be afraid of? You said it yourself, you have the power to destroy both me and my husband in a heartbeat." it felt almost ecstatic and freeing in a way to finally be able to say those words to Cathrine.

„What do you want?" Cathrine glared at her and Mary could sense the tension filling the room.

„To make you a preposition." she folded her hands in her lap and gave Cathrine her most endearing smile.

„What in god's name could you offer me?" Cathrine put down the flask, crossing her arms before her chest. „You have lost dear, it is time you came to that conclusion as well."