A beating heart

Chapter 30

Anne was tightly gripping onto the hem of her dress as they rushed through the corridors. Her head was spinning with contradictory thoughts. It was all going so catastrophically wrong. She only prayed to god that there was still some way to solve this mess, she hadn't the faintest idea how. All she was certain of in this moment, was that she needed him, she needed to see his face, hear his voice.

They had taken it too far, both of them. He was marrying another, just like she had pushed him to do for months. Now that it was finally happening she was miserable, the though seemed intolerable and she felt sick to her stomach, imagining him with someone else.

Was this what if had been like for him? Had he felt the jealousy boil in his stomach whenever he had seen her with his brother? The intolerable pain gripping his heart, knowing that she she would never be his. It had been hard on her and the past months had broken her down into pieces but this was different. All this time she had still harbored that spark of hope within her scarred heart, the impossible wish that there was still a chance.

Seeing him at the other girl's side had broken that last shimmer of light within her, and more. She felt physically sick and her legs were slowly turning numb beneath her. Only the heat of Anne's body, so closely pressed against her, kept her from shivering. Her heels echoed in the empty corridors, as most of the castles inhabitants had already taken to their rooms. She was torn between wanting to hurry and stop in her tracks, scared of what might await her behind his doors.

It was all blurred and suddenly she was standing before the all too familiar door. Her chest was heaving and her lungs were desperately trying to catch up with the pace her feet had set. Miraculously, Anne wasn't crying. In fact she didn't utter a single sound, she just stared at her mothers contorted face. Her eyes were two big round blue bulbs, shining in the corridor's darkness. It was incredibly actually, how much she looked like him. Of course she had heard countless people gush over how much the little princess resembled her mother and it flattered her. She could only guess that people saw whatever they wanted to see. But to her the resemblance was irrefutable. Even her chestnut coloured locks were starting to take on a slightly lighter shade.

Of course it was pure madness to take the baby here. What was she thinking? In fact she wasn't thinking much at all. This was exactly what she had tried to prevent with every measure possible. He couldn't see her, no matter how much they might both deserve it. He would know, he was not that stupid nor ignorant. Kenna had found out and Mary still had not the faintest idea how. She hadn't told her and she was positive that no one else knew, besides the seer, but surely he wouldn't dare defy his Queen's commands.

Her heart was beating uncomfortably fast and the lump in her throat was growing with ever moment she spent her before his door, pondering what to do next. She knew that she had no choice, she was too far in now but the needed courage was missing. In an effort to assure herself in her decision she pressed Anne closer and placed a lingering kiss on the baby's soft forehead.

„Maman will make things right again, my darling." she whispered and Anne stared at her with even bigger eyes in response.

In her daze she didn't even think it curious that the guards where not on their usual posts before his door. But when her gaze flickered sideways, she could see the one man asleep, slumped against the wall. It would have normally bothered her but in this moment she had to take this opportunity, the universe had granted her. For once something seemed to be working in her favor.

With another deep breath out she reached for the handle with one hand and the door swung open.

It was late in the evening and the sun had already vanished only leaving a dimmer rosy afterglow. The room was complete black and the only source of light was the faint flicker of the last flames in the hearth.