Story Of My Life

Day two

Today was awful. Well last night I threw up because my stomach was hurting. And stuff. And today it was uneasy so I only ate a small sausage.  I almost threw up again so I had to take some nausea pills. I hate pills but I was going to throw up and nah. So the derp didmt acknowledge me. I saw him twice but I think he saw me. Ive ruined everything.  I had to go and tell him and make him feel idk how he feels HE HASNT TALKED TO ME. Im just going to become a nun. But i love love. But no one is ever going to have feelings for me. Why do I have so much hope that it would happen. I hate my brain why must it make me have these very unrealistic expectations that just hurt me. I feel so sad. I just ugg. I think if he doesn't say anything tomorrow ill just asl him what's going on. I'm just waiting for the no. So when he tells me no. Ima make it seem as I'm totally fine with it. But ill know inside that I'm hurting. But my brains is like he could like u. I hate me self. Ugg bye

09/22/2016