Too Young.
Too Dumb.
To Realize.
-Bruno Mars, When I was your man.
Dear June,
You know the world is fucked up when you drink vodka, one glass after the other, but you don't get drunk.
I'm at a bar right now, if you haven't already guessed. I'm sitting right at the counter, on this elevated chair which is giving my back hell.
Why do all bars have such dim lights? I mean, majority of the people come here to forget the darkness in their lives right? No? Oh.
Anyway, if the above is true then bars should be full of life and colour. A place where you actually get to live.
Now the way I see it there are two things that can happen to a person in a bar. One, They drink so much they forget their troubles, or Two, they don't drink to forget but forget anyway.
Did that make sense? No? Well, when have I ever been sensible?
I can see a boy storming out of the door. If I look to the right I'll bet you anything I'll find a girl somewhere, sitting at the counter, with her mascara messed up, probably waiting to forget, waiting for shit to make sense again.
See? I am a hopeless romantic. And, if my great philosophies are true then it must also be taken for granted that June, that is to say me, is sitting here drinking to forget something.
People call us cowards you know. They call us stupid.They look down upon people like me, who cut and cry and drink and break down into tiny tiny pieces. They think we are cowards. Typical. They don't understand. I don't expect them to. But it sucks any way you choose to look at it.
Yup, there she is. The girl with the runny mascara. Told you, didn't I? I could go up to her and tell her that she deserves better than the loser who dumped her. I can see that she's crying. Maybe I should invite her over, calm her down, help her, motivate her.
I should, shouldn't I? Yeah but I won't.
Don't judge me. Who am I kidding, OF COURSE you are. That's alright. I have come to expect that.
I'm not one to lie to people. I'm not one to judge how a person's feeling by looking at their face. I'm not one to judge a person a person by knowing their background. Nah, I'll judge them, but the real them. Not the 'them' they usually introduce themselves as to everyone.
Hi, I'm June, my favorite colour is black, and I'm fine. Typical.
My scars and the number of drinks I consume doesn't tell you that I am a loner. It should tell you that life started a war with me, and I'm still fighting with it. However, that's not my story. I don't want that to be my story.
Declan is not with me right now. He should be. Only, when he found out that I was cutting again he kinda lost his shit. And I may have pushed him and told him to 'back off'. And he did just that, I guess. This happened on Monday. Today's a Saturday.
Maybe I am a little drunk right now. It's a great feeling. You forget, if only for a moment.
I can literally be anything right now. I can be a wave. I can be a cloud. I can be the sun. I can be a rabbit. Anything.
I've never tried drunk texting before. Maybe I should. You only live once right?
Love, let me tell you a universally acknowledged truth. It hurts. And it will hurt more as you grow up. But nobody who matters will care. And you will do your best to cope with it. This, will be expected of you. And you will do what is expected of you. Some will give up, some don't know how.
In the end, it is what it is.
-June
YOU ARE READING
June.
Short Story[COMPLETED] Dear June, Deep breaths. Count to ten. Take a step. Take another step. You can do this. You've got this. Just breathe. What happened to you? Was it the pressure? Was it the depression? Was it the loneliness? What was it? Do you know, or...
