June.

You're not sorry.

Come up to meet you

Tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are.

-Coldplay, The Scientist.

June looked up when her mother entered her room. She was smiling softly.

'You have a visitor,' she said smiling.

June looked at her, confusion marring her features. When did she have visitors? And that too on a Friday night?

'Who is it?' June asked, slowly climbing out of bed and following her mother out the door.

'Somebody from school,' Mother said, gesturing towards the front door. 'Be nice to him dear, he seems quite distraught.'

June waited till her mother had made her way back to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath she walked to the front door.

Distraught was an understatement.

Declan's face was white like it had been drained of all its blood. His hands were fisted on either side of him. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked like he had been running his hands through his hair in frustration. His body was tense.

June's face betrayed no emotion when she saw him standing on her front porch looking like his world was collapsing around him.

She looked at him in silence. When he did not say anything she sighed. 'Why are you here Declan?'

Declan ran his hand through his hair again. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again. If not for his eyes gazing at her so intently, June would have mistaken him for a statue.

June took a quick decision and stepped outside, gently closing the door behind her. It had rained all week, and her cold was no better. Still, she thought, there are worse things in life.

Declan looked away for a second and took a deep breath as if trying to compose himself.

He then looked at her with newfound determination and said,' Why haven't you been coming to school?'

June was taken aback for a minute. Spluttering she said, ' I don't know why you care.'

Declan tensed again, like he had been expecting this question. 'You're my friend. Of course I care.'

June groaned and ran a distressed hand through her face. 'Declan. Don't play these games with me.'

Declan gritted his teeth. 'I'm not playing games with you June.'

'Then WHY are you here?!' June shouted. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't let him in. He had done enough damage.

Declan faltered at her outburst. 'I was- I was worried.'

June let out a humourless laugh. 'Worried? Please! You made it quite clear the last time we spoke that worried was the last thing you felt for me.'

Declan's eyes flashed with anger before he closed his eyes and sighed. His fists were still clenched on either side of him, like he was restraining himself. 'About that. I wanted to apologise-'

June took a step back. 'So it's that easy for you, is it?'

Declan furrowed his eyebrows. 'What?'

'Look,' June began her voice hoarse and hollow. 'You said you wanted to step back. I'm giving you space. Now you come here all of a sudden pretending that we are still friends. Declan, for Gods' sake, make up your fucking mind!'

He flinched slightly when she yelled.

'Look,' she said again looking at him. 'Go home. Sleep it off. You'll feel better. You won't have this mad urge to talk to me again and we can-'

'It was a mistake,' Declan said, abruptly cutting her words and taking a step forward towards her.

When she didn't say anything he continued. 'I didn't mean any of it sunshine. I don't know why I said those things. I was upset and I guess I let my emotions get the better of me. I'm sorry June. I just- I just lost my mind.'

His face was vulnerable. If June had looked at him that night, really looked at him, she would have found sincerity in his words. But she didn't. She didn't.

'Do you think I'm a fucking toy?!' she whispered, and he winced at the harshness of her words.

'No!' he said desperately. 'I only meant-'

June looked away and groaned. The sound pierced through his heart like a twisted knife.

'You can't do this to me Declan,' she said, tears threatening to fall. 'Do you know what it felt like? When you said those things to me. Do you know how badly you hurt me? No! You don't! You have no idea-'

She couldn't help it. She was crying.

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to hold on to her. He wanted to wipe those tears. But he had caused them. He was to blame. He didn't know anymore.

'June I'm sorry,' he said coming as close to her as he thought she would permit. 'Damn it! I'm so so sorry.'

June turned away from him and wiped her face.

Taking a deep breath she turned back again. Dark circles marred her eyes. 'It's fine. It doesn't matter. It's for the best.'

And just like that he felt her pushing him back. Her walls were back up. She was acting indifferent. She was saying that it didn't matter to her but she didn't really mean it.

He hoped that she didn't really mean it.

'Go home Declan. We were-,' she sighed, looking at him sadly, 'I guess we just weren't supposed to survive. It's okay. It happens.'

Yeah it happens, He thought. But it sure as hell shouldn't have happened to us.