Running From History

05. first sighting

     Working at The Ladybird was a lot lower stress than I was used to, there were rarely more than three people in the line at once and even then they were happy to wait.  It seemed that a lot of my days, for the first little bit at least, would be spent learning how to bake.  June was starting me off with the basics, just cupcakes and cookies, but she was confident that I would be whipping up even the most complicated pastries and danishes in no time despite my complete lack of natural talent.

     The Ladybird didn't open that early but I still woke up before the sun and every morning I would sit and eat my breakfast and drink my coffee and look out the window.  I told myself I wasn't looking for him, that the window in the kitchen just happened to face his house.  Every day I worried that he would walk into The Ladybird to get a brownie, his old favourite, and I would find myself face to face with my past and I wouldn't know what to say.  I didn't have an explanation that I could give him that would make him understand why I did what I did to him.

     I slowly settled into life back home.  On weekdays I would work at the bakery all day mostly making the coffees and manning the till and occasionally helping June with the baking.  June insisted on giving me the weekends off saying that I was young and I needed my weekends for fun, little did she know that I had little to no social life, the most fun I had was going to Beth's and watching movies quietly after she had put Cindy to bed.

     I had been back home just shy of a month when Beth called me on a Friday and said she had the night off and asked if I wanted to meet her at the local bar.  Until then most of our interactions had been confined to The Ladybird or her house.  I agreed to meet her and changed out of my old t-shirt I'd worn to work and into a nice tank top, I threw my favourite red flannel on overtop as it was starting to get cold in the evenings as we moved into fall.  I put on a little more makeup than I wore day to day and told myself it wasn't because I knew that the bar was the only place he went other than his house.  I stuffed my feet and my old ripped skinny jeans into my favourite brown boots and left to walk to the bar; it would be a bit of a hike but nothing in this town was too far and I wanted to be able to have a few drinks without worrying about driving home later.  I glanced up as I shut the door behind me and I saw a light on in the house across the street for the first time.  I stopped in my tracks on the front porch and allowed myself just a moment to wonder what he was doing.  The light was coming from the upstairs guest room; I wondered if he was staying there instead of sleeping in his old double bed.  I became very conscious that if he looked out the window he would see me in the light of the porch light so I quickly left and walked down the street.

     I walked into the old bar and Beth greeted me with an excited hug.  The bar was a little grungy, a little dirty, and a little run down but it felt like home to me and I was much more comfortable there than in any of the nightclubs in the city I had pretended to like.  "Let me buy you a drink" Beth offered and pulled me towards the bar.  I tried to pay for my own beer but Beth insisted on her serving me a drink for once.  We set ourselves up on some stools near one of the pool tables in that back corner and watched some of our old friends play pool.  I did have a few drinks but I felt like everyone was watching me out of the corner of their eye as if they expected me to get trashed and try to do something crazy and get myself arrested ... again.  Because everyone was watching me warily I was very careful to not drink too much but I had fun playing pool and just catching up with some of my old friends before I started my walk home just after midnight feeling happy and only slightly tipsy.

     I saw him for the first time that night.  I only saw him from afar and at first I though my drunk brain was playing tricks on me but I saw him nonetheless.  I walked back into my parents house and quietly up to my room.  I got ready for bed and turned my light out and then, as had become habit, I peeked past my curtains and looked across the street and for the first time there he was.  He was standing in the kitchen of his mom's house in front of the big windows.  I couldn't make out many details because the light behind him was casting him in silhouette.  His hair looked longer than it had been and he was wearing a hoodie; I had always loved it when he had worn sweats and had looked so dressed down and cozy.  He was facing the windows and I wondered what he was looking at.  Had he heard I was back?  Did he look across the street at night while I slept looking for any sign of movement the way I did every morning?  For all I knew he could be up at this time every night or this could be the first day since the funeral that he had managed to bring himself to turn a light on.  I hated not knowing how he was coping.  I wondered if he had seen me walk home.  I couldn't tell if it would be better or worse if I had gone over and announced my return or for him to see me somewhere around town and be surprised that I was there.  I stood there watching him until he finally turned and left the kitchen and then the house was dark again.

Author's note:

Hi guys! Sorry this chapters a bit later than I usually post I like to write the chapters in advance so I can really plan them out but I just ran out of time this week.  Sorry if this seems like a bit of filler but I promise things are picking up! Our mysterious main man is finally up and moving around the house so who knows maybe he'll leave the house next chapter or maybe him and Ginny will have a little run-in ;)

Let me know what you think of the story so far and what you think should happen. I'm also curious what do you think Ginny's secret could be? Why did she leave in the first place?