Ginny Carney has been running since she was 17; running from the small town that stifled her, from her 'wild child' reputation, and from the boy she left behind. Now 25 Ginny finds herself a college dropout with no job, no boyfriend and forced to m...
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I didn't want to go home it was too close and I half expected Miles to follow me; presumably after he'd explained who I was to his ... wife? To whoever that woman was. Just like when I had found out I was pregnant I wandered the streets in a daze until I eventually found myself at The Ladybird. I didn't know what I thought I would do at The Ladybird or why I was there but I didn't know what else to do.
"Ginny? Honey?" June said slightly panicked as I stood in the doorway. The other customers were staring at me and I realized what I must look like to them. I was still wearing what I had slept in: one of Miles' shirts and shorts, my hair was a mess and there were tear stains on my cheeks. "What's wrong? What happened?" June guided me into a corner booth. I didn't say anything just let June sit me down gently. I felt empty, tired, I didn't feel anything anymore. "Come on Ginny say something you're scaring me, are you ok?" I gave an almost imperceptible nod. Physically I was ok but in every other way I had been completely destroyed. "Should I call someone for you? Your parents? Miles?"
"No"I said forcefully. "Not him." I dropped my voice back down.
"Ok" June said gently, "Ok, let me get you some tea." June stood and left me at the booth and I put my head in my hands. What was I going to do now? I hadn't been thinking, I had no plan, where would I go from here?
June came back and set the tea down, "Take as long as you need" she squeezed my shoulder, "I'll be at the counter if you need me." I just nodded. I had barely taken a second sip of tea when Beth came rushing into the bakery with Cindy in her arms. She looked visibly relieved when she saw me.
"Ginny" she sighed as she slid into the booth across from me, "What happened? Miles called, Erik said he's a wreck he's gone over to talk him down, wouldn't say what happened just asked someone to find you."
"He's a wreck?" I laughed bitterly and Beth looked to me for more but I didn't elaborate.
"What happened? I didn't even know you two were talking."
"Do you know anything about a woman named Lucia?" I asked instead of answering Beth's question.
Beth shook her head, "Should I?"
"Can I hold her?" my voice cracked and Beth handed Cindy across the table and I didn't look up from the tiny hand curled around my fingers as I told Beth everything. She didn't say anything right away when I'd finished. I looked up and she was wiping a tear from her eye.
"You're sure it was his daughter?" She asked eventually,
"She called him 'Daddy'" I said dully.
"Gin" she said cautiously, "Where is Katie?" I teared up again, in all the time we had talked about her Miles had never asked me that.
"At the church up by the lake." The lake was just over an hour away it was mostly cottages, a few small houses, a general store, and a tiny church. When it got hot over the summer we had driven up and spent our days by the water. The lake was my favourite place in the world but I hadn't been back since I had taken a secret trip out to bury my daughter; I had wanted her to be close to home.
"Should we go see her?" Beth asked softly and Cindy squirmed in my lap and grabbed a fistful of my hair.
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My parents still owned a cottage on the lake but it was barely used anymore. Beth offered to go with me to the church but I left her and Cindy at the cottage. I made my way to the back of the cemetery and sat cross-legged on the cold damp grass in front of the small nameplate that read Kathleen Hope Clifford.
"Hi Katie-girl" I whispered and the tears spilled over, "Sorry I haven't visited. I missed you."
I stayed sitting there on the grass until I was so cold I was shivering but I still didn't get up. Eventually it started to get darker and Beth came to find me and wrapped me up in her coat and tucked me into bed back at the cottage. She promised to come get me tomorrow, I didn't want to go back yet; she'd put some food in the fridge while I was out, she had to get Cindy home. Home. I didn't know if I could bear to go home again, to see the house across the street. He had tarnished the one place I felt safe.
Author's note:
Sorry this chapter is a little late and a little shorter it was a hard one to write I was having trouble figuring out how to get all the emotion across.
Hope you liked it, let me know if you did, the next chapter should be easier to write (and to read) so I'll try to aim for next weekend xx
